Countdown to college: 11 days!
"When the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than the pain of change......only then will you do something different"
Embarking on a new life sounds so exciting, but what about my old one... this one. Last night I laid in my bed, thinking about everything I'm leaving behind (sorta). My big bed. My soft comforter. My pictures. My books. My flowers and trinkets and what-nots.
But all this is nothing compared to the family and friends I have to leave. My people who are always there when times are tough, the men and women who were there when I moved, when I cried, when i laugh and celebrated, when I was scared, when I was needing. The people who helped me financially, emotionally, hell physically. I will miss them all so much, for I am not Rita without them. Making that list and saying goodbye to everyone is way harder than letting go of all the material stuff, coz I can replace the material things but not them. I won't ever have them come around unexpectedly expecting to be fed, and late hours on the phone where telephone bills and time dont exist.
What drives us? What makes us strong? What enables us to do the unexpected, what motivates us? What does it take to show us life must be lived for every moment? What is it that inspires me to move forward? What sublime abnormality, utter psychotic behaviour could this be? BUT then again.....
I have to go, I need to be brave, I need to evolve, make the move, take the risk, and bridge the gap between my youth and my adulthood. I can do this, nothing will stop me, for I love this and I will take this opportunity to better myself. I LOVE THIS, that was all I needed to say to myself and the pain is gone, the sadness fades, and I am once again brave, excited, and ready! I am READY!
"You are where you are because you want to be there. If you want to be somewhere else, you will need to change." |
posted by Rita at 
