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currently listening to my KAIROS XV CD! good stuff...
so this isn't update: part 2 of the most put-off update ever... BUT it's something.
friday night tsismis is fun fun fun! muahahahahaha... some things just needed to be cleared up, let go, discussed. time well spent @ priestley.
saturday morning/afternoon all-kast @ the lipman room: first of all... WHAT A VIEW! absolutely beautiful... i think i could've just sat there with some music or a pen and paper for hours just looking towards the bay, the hills, or the city. incredible. moments like those, brief as they are, are so cool. i've gotta get up there another time to just sit and let be.
practice was less hectic. less emotional. less frustrating. thank goodness.
vaughn helped me write an invocation for a Bataan-Corregidor commemoration night in Pittsburg. it never got delivered b/c they decided to start 30 minutes ahead of schedule! imagine that: a filipino function starting EARLY! what is this world coming to???
Easter Sunday was different this year. It kinda felt like it was just any other sunday, any other weekend. Is that bad? I mean, it is easter and all...
I feel like my priorities have shifted so much in the last few months, and i'm really disappointed in myself for that. Somehow in the last few weeks PCN has taken over everything and things that once held the utmost priority in my life (like school and church) has moved down on my list, and boy are things as difficult as ever with classes. berkeley is kickin my ass. i feel like my head has reached full capacity. like if i learn anything new, something i need, something i've learned, something i could potentially need for a midterm or paper or final will get bumped out.
There are times I wish that I was more studious, more on top of things, solely focused on school--and not bothering with extracurriculars... extracurriculars won't get me into UC Berkeley's Engineering Grad School. the "non-involved" rita would say, "damnit rita, what are you doing?!? you're ruining for your future for what? for a show? for a club? for nonsense? what's happened to you?? what about your scholarship? what about the thousands of dollars you're parents are pouring into Cal? what about the example you're setting for your sublings? you're blowing everything you've been working for since you started to read and write. YOU'RE BLOWING IT!!" "Non-involved" rita pops into my head in the middle of taking midterms, looking at the questions, and praying that the people around you have no clue how to do them, too. but "involved" rita pops up during all those other moments when i'm surrounded by the people i've come to love and call my friends and community. she says, "i'm here for the experience. i'm here for the now. i'm here because i care enough to make some kind of difference."
my dual personalities are really pulling hard--pulling in different directions. and maybe this is a hard lesson that I need to learn. it's a struggle to find a balance. it will always be because i feel that i'm too passionate about too many things.
if only i were a little more apathetic. lol.
anyway, back to event stuff. dinner @ angelo's was such fun. angelo, valery, vaughn, diana, camille, mark, rannel, frances, kevin, chandra, and i all had dinner together! with the occassional cameo from trisha and wally. *snaps to the cooks!* such wonderful time together.
and then we had jazz. oowee... i'm gonna be hella embarrassed doing some of that in front of my mom. ay, in front of my dad! ay, in front of everyone's moms and dads!!!
oh well.... que sera sera...
and today, after classes, and shopping, and eating, and meeting, i went to my mailbox. i don't usually do this because i rarely pass by it, but mark told me to check for my billing statements. sheesh.
so i did, and i had mail! like REAL MAIL! not a bill or a quarter-sheet flyer or housing notice... real personal mail! do you realize how awesome that is? how it totally made my day? man, the last letter i received from a friend was a kairos one from april 10, 2003. that's over a year, my friends!
thanks mark! ...you've never steered me wrong...
...yet, lol!
oh, and i registered on thefacebook.com. hehe! |
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posted by Rita at 
