so the first day of work wasn't bad at all... phew. it's a rush... but the key to it all is to stay calm and collected and polite... it's hard to speak all adult-ish and professional but i think i've got it down..."McNamara law firm"..."may i ask who is calling?"..."one moment, please"..."would you like me to check in with his secretary?"..."oh, [so & so] is currently unavailable. would you like [so & so]'s voicemail?"..."thank you. one moment, please." ha.. got the routine. the only time i got flustered was when there were like 5 people calling and i had to get them all on hold... CRAZY! but i managed... they usually hang up and try again anyways...
the people are really nice... and some of the younger (20s-early 30s) male attorneys and clerks are kinda cute! lol... and the boss' son... ooooooowee! jk... grayson's just 19! but it's ok... he goes to school in Idaho... what the heck is in Idaho?!? hmmmm... what else went down today?
ok. so i've got 3 breaks during the day... @ 10:30 for 15 minutes, @ 1:00 for an hour lunch, and @ 3:30 for 15 minutes... and i go the the kitchen/copy room/lounge and there the O magazine.. ya know, like the Oprah magazine. anyways... i was reading it and some of the articles were particularly stimulating, mostly cuz they talk about the other sex, but hey... i'll take all the advise & comforting i can get, ok. there was this article about "how to raise mr. right" and an article on the 10 kinds of guys to avoid and how to snag a guy (like the DOs and DON'Ts)... yup. very very interesting... made me think of the kind of guy i want, whether it be a boyfriend or a soulmate... i mean.. you've gotta be picky and who cares if it takes you forever to find your partner for life... you don't wanna be tied down to a loser, right? so why change yourself to fit him? or why lower your standards so you're not the only single person within the family? if he's really the one meant for you, he'll love you for you and you should love him for him, even if he's not just like you... i definitely don't want a clone of myself to spend the rest of my life with (when i get to the point in my life where i'm looking for a husband) but idk... i shouldn't even refer to it as "looking for a husband"... cuz i don't wanna spend my adulthood doing that either... i mean, i'll keep my eyes peeled, but i'm not gonna make it my purpose, my reason to keep living... till we meet, i'm gonna enjoy life with the ones i love. i'm gonna meet all the people i can. i'm gonna immerse myself in the richness this world has to offer. i'm gonna travel. i'm gonna read. i'm gonna laugh. i'm gonna sing. i'm gonna dance. i'm gonna talk with the people i love till the sun comes up. i'm gonna be successful inside and outside of the office. i'm gonna sleep with joy in my heart and no regrets for the day that has passed. but... when i do connect with that person who i am meant for (not to say that i haven't yet... who knows?), it's gonna be magic! he's gonna travel and read and laugh and sing and dance and talk and enjoy life with me... he's never gonna bore me, cuz love makes everything so interesting and intriguing.. and we'll keep that fire burning. but love can be quiet and reflective... sometimes the slightest touch or the glimmer in their eye can be enough... can mean more than a million words. love is ever-changing.. evolving with the people... it never fails.

and another thing... ok... for the last few weeks peter has been reciting these lines from a song (see what's bolded below)... *dreamy sigh*... the thing is... i had always thought it was a guy that sang it.. well i was wrong. it kinda changes those words for me, but ya know, that's ok... cuz i like the way peter says it better... hehe. so i downloaded it and i listened and the first time i heard it, i was like "what the heck is this honky-tonk music?" but then i listened more and it grew on me... kinda.

As Cool As I Am - Dar Williams

Yea, there was a time I didnt like the love, I liked the climbers,
I was no sister then, I was running out of time and one liners,
And I was afraid, like you are when youre too young to know the time, and
So I watched the way you take your fear and hoard the horizon,
You point, you have a word for every woman you can lay your eyes on,
Like you own them just because you bought the time,
And you turn to me, you say you hope Im not threatened,

Oh -- Im not that petty, as cool as I am, I thought youd know this already,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.

So now were at a club, you watch the woman dancing, she is drunk,
She is smiling and shes falling in a slow, descending funk,
And the whole bar is loud and proud and everybodys trying, yeah.
You play the artist, saying, "Is it how she moves, or how she looks?"
I say, its loneliness suspended to our own like grappling hooks,
And as long as shes got noise, shes fine.
But I could teach her how I learned to dance when the musics ended,

Oh -- and thats not petty, as cool as I am, I thought youd know this already,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.

You tried to make me doubt, to make me guess, tried to make me feel like a little less,
Oh, I liked you when your soul was bared, I thought you knew how to be scared,
And now its amazing what you did to make me stay,
But truth is just like time, it catches up and it just keeps going,

And so Im leaving, you can find out how much better things can get,
And if it helps, Id say I feel a little worse than I did when we met,
So when you find someone else, you can try again, it might work next time,
You look out of the kitchen window and you shake your head and say low,
"If I could believe that stuff, Id say that woman has a halo,"
And I look out and say, "Yeah, shes really blond,"
And then I go outside and join the others, I am the others,

Oh -- and thats not easy, I dont know what you saw, I want somebody who sees me,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.