| long convo |
this says what i'm thinking right now:
lwesterfun: hey! sorry i've missed all the calls lately...
lwesterfun returned at 10:37:07 AM.
lwesterfun: how are you?
CaLxPiNaYx07: aw it's ok
CaLxPiNaYx07: i'm ok
lwesterfun: lol. we had a phone malfunction at the radio
CaLxPiNaYx07: the coursework is still kicking my ass
lwesterfun: sorry about that
CaLxPiNaYx07: but other than that...
CaLxPiNaYx07: i'm ok
lwesterfun: yeah. school is giving me hell to
CaLxPiNaYx07: i made a christmas lantern yesterday
lwesterfun: ooh! nice
CaLxPiNaYx07: arts and crafts... mmmm... therapy
lwesterfun: i have 5 papers due in a week. AHH
lwesterfun: so i'm going insane
lwesterfun: i need therapy too
lwesterfun: i should get craftsy
lwesterfun: acctualy, i need it to snow
lwesterfun: the weather is being sucky...cold but not snowing. poopy
CaLxPiNaYx07: same here!
lwesterfun: anyway, hows the angst? you doing ok on that note?
CaLxPiNaYx07: it's gotten SOOOOOOOOOOOO COLD!
lwesterfun: i know..i checked out the home weather...frost and all that. my goodness
CaLxPiNaYx07: like... uncharacteristically cold
lwesterfun: i can't WAIT to get home!!
CaLxPiNaYx07: like below freezing!
lwesterfun: so excited
CaLxPiNaYx07: no rain or anything though
CaLxPiNaYx07: it's like "the day after tomorrow" or something, but without the intense earth freeze
CaLxPiNaYx07: what angst?
CaLxPiNaYx07: which angst?
CaLxPiNaYx07: lol
CaLxPiNaYx07: i think.. right now. i can't be thinking about all that emotional stuff
CaLxPiNaYx07: i need to understand my math and physics
lwesterfun: haha..ok, thats what i meant
lwesterfun: and yeah, sometimes work is a good distractor
CaLxPiNaYx07: it's not that it's a distractor from the angst..
CaLxPiNaYx07: in fact it's causing its own angst
CaLxPiNaYx07: but...
CaLxPiNaYx07: now is not the time to be all conflicted n shit
CaLxPiNaYx07: i seriously don't understand multivariable calculus
CaLxPiNaYx07: nothing sticks anymore.
CaLxPiNaYx07: i just learn it to learn it.. then i forget it
CaLxPiNaYx07: i don't know how to change that.
lwesterfun: hmm. yeah
CaLxPiNaYx07: it's like i'm just studying to get the grade (which i am)... but it's just for the grade
lwesterfun: i'm not sure what to tell ya
lwesterfun: you should talk to sumi, shes gonna major in math
CaLxPiNaYx07: all these tech classes... there's no room for fudge
CaLxPiNaYx07: *to fudge
lwesterfun: haha..yeah, i know
CaLxPiNaYx07: there's one answer and one way to get it
lwesterfun: thats one glory of lib. arts..
CaLxPiNaYx07: yeah i agree
lwesterfun: but then you have to write 5 papers.
lwesterfun: so theres that
CaLxPiNaYx07: i need some of that
CaLxPiNaYx07: i need to think beyond the equations and everyday practical stuff
CaLxPiNaYx07: i feel like half of my brain is rotting
CaLxPiNaYx07: like one side is going to eat the other
CaLxPiNaYx07: lol
lwesterfun: haha..oh my
lwesterfun: creepy
CaLxPiNaYx07: remember that brain moving inside my head incident from high school
CaLxPiNaYx07: i feel that on a weekly basis
lwesterfun: oh shit, yeah
lwesterfun: noooooo
lwesterfun: what cured it before?
CaLxPiNaYx07: i don't know
CaLxPiNaYx07: my health... has gotten worse this year
CaLxPiNaYx07: not that i've gotten the flu or colds or fevers like last year
lwesterfun: yeah, thats lucky..i havent' either, yet, thank goodness
lwesterfun: what do you mean though?
CaLxPiNaYx07: but i'm just fatigued and get headaches a lot more often and my eyes give after a few hours
CaLxPiNaYx07: it's harder to focus
CaLxPiNaYx07: on the work at least
lwesterfun: yeah. you need a vacation deary
lwesterfun: how long is your break?
CaLxPiNaYx07: 3 weeks
lwesterfun: ahhh
lwesterfun: nice
lwesterfun: do a spa day
CaLxPiNaYx07: but it's not really a vacation that i need
lwesterfun: mm. that sounds good...
CaLxPiNaYx07: i need a retreat
lwesterfun: well, yeah
CaLxPiNaYx07: or something to recenter myself
CaLxPiNaYx07: i need guided self-evaluation time
CaLxPiNaYx07: i need to talk about ideas with people
lwesterfun: you don't think just self-evaluation and some time to yourself put together might help?
lwesterfun: do you really need the structure of a retreat?
lwesterfun: like, what about just talking to people who know you outside teh retreat format
lwesterfun: because you have the time over christmas
CaLxPiNaYx07: it's just that.. i can't do these things in my room
CaLxPiNaYx07: or at home
lwesterfun: and you could do it.
CaLxPiNaYx07: i need to be away
lwesterfun: hmm
CaLxPiNaYx07: life is all to hectic everywhere
lwesterfun: i guess thats something i have trouble relating to...i spend so much time alone when im at home
lwesterfun: i get used to the idea of home being equivalent to solitude, reflection, time
lwesterfun: but i guess thats not the case at your place
CaLxPiNaYx07: not me.
CaLxPiNaYx07: not at all
CaLxPiNaYx07: i'd love to "vacation" with friends and not with family for once.
CaLxPiNaYx07: not have an agenda
CaLxPiNaYx07: or have sights to see
lwesterfun: any chance the mom'd let you, i don't know, take a day to go on a long walk or hike or something with people....like people from church or friends or something..where you can kinda pull a mini retreat
CaLxPiNaYx07: just kick-back and get to know people.. have some good conversation.. eat and laugh and be a non-student
lwesterfun: well, yes; would it be so hard to do that over christmas? it seems like a good opportunity
CaLxPiNaYx07: idk.. i'll try
CaLxPiNaYx07: we'll see how the parents feel
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posted by Rita at 
