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live all day for money. fight all night for love.
-zora neale hurston |
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delivered on Saturday, July 26, 2003. how quickly i forget the things i say. or maybe it's just that i feel like i'm not living up to it. whatever the case, i need time for reflection. time i don't have. more and more... i'm turning in jessie spano (minus the OTC addiction) jk... sigh.
Good Evening. My name is Rita Jo Rose Cruz Encarnacion, and I am truly honored to accept this title as Miss Hawaii-Pittsburg 2003 for the Filipino Catholic Society of Pittsburg.
Back in January when I was approached by the president, Josefina Galang aka Lola Pinay, and Mrs. Vennie Alvear and Mrs. Nora Gavino, tonight’s event coordinators, I decided to put my bid into the candidacy, not for the title, or the crown, or the party, but for the mission, for the goodwill, and for the service that are essentially rooted in this fundraiser.Sure, the glamorous idea of being a “Queen” definitely sparked my youthful confidence and go-to nature, but the central belief that I would be able to help this organization with its efforts towards education is what really drew me in. It was a calling from my Lord to be a steward for God for our community.
I am proud to represent a group whose mission is to continue to serve and fund projects that grant scholarships to deserving students from parochial schools in the area, that serve free dinners to the elderly, that adopt children for the catechism, and more. Giving back to the community is something innately ingrained in me. It’s something I was taught at a young age. It’s something that has been continually nurtured in me. And while I, myself, really don’t have much of an income of my own to give, I saw solicitation as the next possible step. There is nothing to be ashamed of when asking in the name of the Lord, when it goes to our needy brothers and sisters. It is really the least we can do, no matter how young or old we may be.You don’t lose anything through asking; you can only gain. The key is to get involved—regardless of how important it may seem or how great it might look in the scheme of things—and to stay involved.
And so tonight, I ask you. Better yet, I thank you. By coming tonight, you have already done your part. You have already given your support, but there is still so much more in this world that we can do—that we can set right if we keep Christ’s love in our hearts. While it’s best to take things one at a time, we must always remember that we have a constant responsibility to each other and to ourselves.We owe it to each other to look out for one another’s best interests, for one another’s wellbeing, and for one another’s happiness. So tonight, let us take great happiness in this occasion, beautifully decorated and wonderfully prepared. Thank you for coming and supporting the society, princesses Jona and Erika, and myself. Aloha! |
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i'm such a chicken. WTF!
3rd and 10... this one's not lookin too good. might need to throw the hail mary.
can i get a price check on love? |
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i could just scream.
can i?
i will.
one moment please...
i want something more. |
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yes. this is my 3rd post of the day. someone stop me.
so... i was searching for an old favorite poem of mine by Edna St. Vincent Millay and i stumbled on another good one. yeah, and although it seems like all the ones that i like from her are about lost loves and unrequited loves and all that goes along with that, i swear i'm not falling back into that funk. well, i'm trying really hard not to.
sidenote: my hormones are outta control. my moods are swinging like crazy right now. it's a emotional rollercoaster ride that never seems to end and never seems to have a flat part for too long. i feel like these g forces are pulling my heart down. pulling it down fast. it hurts. literally. but that's a whole other thing. at the rate that my body's deteriorating on me... i'll be lucky to reach age 70. really lucky. i'd like to have grandkids by then. yeah, that'd be nice. i can't wait to have kids of my own. but i'm gonna have to wait 10 years maybe. yeah. or more. man, parenting is expensive.
this is getting really random.
so back to the poetry... here we go:
What Lips My Lips Have Kissed...
What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in winter stands the lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet knows its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.
Sonnet
Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year's bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide!
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go, – so with his memory they brim!
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, "There is no memory of him here!"
And so stand stricken, so remembering him!
sigh........
aren't they good!?! yeah... i need a good hug.
i miss my high school friends a lot right now. a whole lot |
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my horoscopes are all wrong...
this was yesterday's, sunday, march 28, 2004:
A very special person whom you may have previously considered only a friend could appear to be far more than that today, RITA. You might feel sudden and unexpected desire for this person, and might have to exert iron self-control to keep yourself from coming on too strong. You could go out for coffee with this person, however. A deep and lengthy conversation may be just what you need to learn where you want to take this.
*a string of curse words*
idk... maybe i should've checked my horoscope yesterday morning.
*another string of curse words*
i need my "lugubrious" music.... |
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my horoscopes are all wrong...
this was yesterday's, sunday, march 28, 2004:
A very special person whom you may have previously considered only a friend could appear to be far more than that today, RITA. You might feel sudden and unexpected desire for this person, and might have to exert iron self-control to keep yourself from coming on too strong. You could go out for coffee with this person, however. A deep and lengthy conversation may be just what you need to learn where you want to take this.
*a string of curse words*
idk... maybe i should've checked my horoscope yesterday morning.
*another string of curse words*
i need my "lugubrious" music.... |
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| i think i'll officially update tomorrow, but for now: i miss being that kind of beautiful. i want to be that kind of beautiful again. |
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semi update: for today march 15, 2004
ok... so here's last year's entry: Saturday, March 15, 2003
WORD OF THE DAY: effusion: an unrestrained expression of emotion
ahhhhhh... why are peter's away messages always right... i should just stop reading them lol!
"Always follow your emotions. If-in the uncertainty of the moment-you feel the urge to act in any particular way, do it. You may be embarrassed, made uncomfortable, or otherwise regret your actions. But-so long as you remain loyal to the emotions that compel you--you can't go too far wrong. It is impossible to live life completely without regrets, but if you recognize the validity of your feelings (and if your actions are in concert with them), then your regrets will never be the grievous melancholy of a heart not allowed to express itself."
he knows too much... --------------------------------------------------
and today. he still knows a lot. how gosh darn true. so smart. that's why he's my english stud. or one of them... haha, can't forget my homegirl. "Solidarity Sister! YAYA!"
lol... it's time to take some action. or maybe i'll just wait till after Spring Break. but... what if it's too late by then? hmmm... dang. but yeah. i must say this.
it feels SO good to have moved on. yay for lenten sacrifices! sorry if i'm being ambiguous... i'll reveal all (well... most) later on.
it's back to the books for me. |
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random. i know.
you are the...apple of my eye,
mango of my pie,
palaman of my tinapay,
keso of my monay,
teeth of my suklay,
fingers on my kamay,
blood in my atay,
bubbles of my laway,
sala of my bahay,
seeds of my palay,
clothes in my ukay-ukay,
calcium in my kalansay,
calamansi on my siomai,
inay of my tatay,
knot on my tie,
toyo on my kuchay,
vitamins in my gulay,
airplane of my Cathay,
stars of my sky,
hammer of my panday,
sand of my Boracay,
sultan of my Brunei,
highlands of my Tagaytay,
mole on my Ate Guy,
baba of my Ai-Ai,
voice of my Inday Garutay,
spinach of my Popeye,
sizzle when I fry,
wind when I paypay,
tungkod when I'm pilay,
feeling when I'm high,
shoulder when I cry,
wings when I fly,
prize when I vie,
cure to my "ARAY!",
answer to my "WHY?",
foundation of my tulay,
truth behind the lie,
the life after I die...
In short, you're the center of my buhay
it's time i remember that GOD is the center of my life. nothing more. nothing less. i put my trust in him more than ever in these trying days to come. |
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i'm questioning a lot of things right about now. and i thought i'd feel so happy once i was done with my midterms... but to be honest, i feel so low. so down all of a sudden.
frustration...
update will come, i hope. (sadie's, practices, midterms, pcn, asuc, hall ass... lots and lots to come... i hope)
"am i strong enough?" - stacie orrico |
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"senator rita" lol..... vaughn... you can sing it all you want now!
... ya'll know what that means! it's on. REPRESENT! |
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(from Kalayaan 1997... 6th grade. dancing w/ the Kayumanggi Cultural Dance Troupe. w/ Kuya Oliver.)
yep! we finished pandanggo sa ilaw yesterday... woo hoo... PCN is gonna be tight. no doubt... but was there really an doubt!?! haha.
yeah. linguistics midterm on monday... it's gonna be hard. i can feel it. must study.... then hopefully i'll be able to update about the last 2 weeks for real. |
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lenten sacrifices...
since the tender age of a few months old... (hehe) i have LOVED COCA-COLA.... yum! but i'm giving it up for lent.
*snaps to me.*
i'm also giving up TWIX and ice cream (that includes fro-yo too)
(side note: camille has a coca-cola baby shot, too... lol)
so... i need to update still huh?
and i don't konw where to start. eh... it can wait.
but i'll post about yesterday. yesterday was crazy hectic... i didn't get back to my dorm till 10:45 pm.. i left it @ 9:50 am. dang that's a long time... had a math quiz that didn't go so smoothly. had lunch w/ josh @ dc 3. went to math lecture (finished e36 hw). had e36. got back my midterm... gosh darn stupid mistakes... 80/100. blah. i need to ace everything from now on. went to the ASUC. got a call from CalSERVE about an interview for 9:30pm. went to linguistics... kinda sorta fell asleep for 10 minutes. haha. neal woke me up, he was like "dude.... pay attention" and i was like "eh.. we went over this already in section." yeah... that room makes me sleepy.
so by the time i was done w/ class it was already 4. and i had a meeting @ 6 for community outreach... so i went back to beverly cleary to teach josh what he had missed from sunday's jazz practice. after that we killed time @ his place. I LOVE MARIOKART!!!
kinda like "maria clara" huh, guys!?!?
(pic from sophomore year @ our charity Kayumanggi Cultural Dance Troupe concert @ St. Agnes: me & ramon dancing "Timawa")
anyways... back to my newly rejuvinated video game addiction... hahahahah... perhaps? well.... getting there. hehe! the two princesses are so cute! my favorite players! with the pink buggy!!! eeeeeeeeeeee!!! so adorable!!! god, i'm such a girl. haha!!! i was getting a little too into it. lol. i screamed out "DIE!" when the dumb mushrooms overtook me! ahahhaa... but i had one of those green turtle shells to throw at em so it was all good! hahaha.... i get hella competitive! we had dinner @ dc 3. it was alright. then i had my meeting and got down and dirty w/ some paint and paintbrushes and a naked display board. muahahahaha... it ain't naked anymore.
and then i went to the PASS meeting which was fun as always. learned about all the RRCs. our group got to dance! yeah.... "beat it..... just beat it...." lol PCN sneak-peek. the meeting ended around 8:30. then i went back to josh's so i could read up on CalSERVE and the emails and stuff for my slating interview.
the interview.... was eh. so-so. i honestly don't know how it'll go. lots of applicants to interview before sunday. if i don't get chosen... i'll be kinda sad. but it's ok.... really. there are other outlets to get involved and represent! thank goodness for that. what happens happens. let's just hope the "right" thing happens... whatever that may be....
got out of the interview around 10:15pm. josh walked me all the way back to stern.. and he got me boba too!!! haha... i have the BEST BUDDY!
dang... i spent WAY too much w/ josh yesterday. hahahahhaa.... it's a good thing i don't have to see him today! lol... that'd be like overkill. hahahaha... awwwww... jk!! *throws up the buddy sign* s'all g.
today should be interesting... but back to work i go. |
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random back-in-the-day pic of today:
my kindergarten graduation day!! tell me that's not the face of a do-it-all kinda girl; future publicist, honoree/awardee, cheerleader, singer, dancer, lobbyist, advocate, volunteer, tutor, mentor, student gov't senator?; future Carondelet High School valedictorian; future Cal bear; future mega #1 civil engineer of the world. JK about the last one! hahhaa...
those were the days...
to my right (your left) is justin. he became a really close buddy come 6th grade when we started competing for grades... i mean... pushing each other to bigger and better things... lol. he's here @ cal, too... unit 2 griffiths.... (yo diana, do you know him?!?!) luckily he's living without that string attached to his glasses. wow... wouldn't that be quite a fashion statement if he wore them like that around campus. hehe...
to my left (your right) sits my "ate #1"... CITO! ramon-cito... hehe. like the big brother i never had. he was my escort @ my cotillion... awww... cotillion... march 2, 2003 was a cotillion practice day.... awwwwww... memories. tear. tear.... AHAHAHHAHAH!! forget them tears... it was alllllllllll good! anyways... i was watching a video from the day that pic was taken. lol. cito was soooo cute! he was like "look. look. it's your dad!! *waves to camera*" awwww... cute! that's all i can say. cute! oh wait... how about... downright adorable!
and kinda behind me with her head turned back to sorta face the camera but not really is another future Cal bear that lives on Leo's floor... hehe! wow. small world, ay?
.........
dang... first impressions << tonight's dinner conversation starter. good shit.
being the "do-it-all" kinda person means that life can be really hectic. and hey, it is! but no worries... just gotta take things one at a time...
will really update once everything has settled. way too much on my plate right now... can't waste. must finish.... strong. so i'll be back to post when i get back to my "peaceful place." |
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from last year: Saturday, March 01, 2003
i'm allllllllll better now! YAY! no more yuckiness... my voice is slowly returning which is good... and i'm not hacking up phlegm anymore... woo hoo!!! school's been quite interesting lately... spirit week's been kinda... well... not spirited... weird this year cuz it's split into 2 weeks... doesn't make much sense to me... whatever... went to the track meet on friday! i never knew joe and conrad and jordan could run like that... IT WAS SOOOOOOO COOL!!! (and i didn't know they had muscles like that either... woah!... you'd never know with all them baggy clothes on and jackets and stuff)... kinda makes me wonder why some people quit track (*ahem* peter *ahem* john *ahem)... maybe they couldn't cut it... oooooooo... but you didn't hear that from me... i'm sure rugby's a cool sport... i did see that FRIENDS episode with the rugby match... very different sport... very british... hehe... duh!
well... i've got cotillion practice tomorrow... it should be fun watching the guys dance... hehe... hopefully this time i won't get a private dance by "you know who"... that was kinda disturbing... fun... but let's keep it g-rated aight (there's lil kids watchin over the fence!)... *sigh* boys... ah boys... forget boys... I NEED A MAN! yes... I DO!!!!! RITA NEEDS SOME LOVIN' TOO!!!!!!!!!
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today: history has a funny way of repeating itself.
update to come whenever i make it back to northside.... it's raining... it's wet outside. yuck. i've become a weather sissy... this makes no sense. i'm a NORCAL-ER!?! |
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posted by Rita at 
