Thursday, June 26, 2003
Rita is
question of the day: what are your ideals?

TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART - Nicki French

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming around
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround, every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Turnaround, every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround.... thinking about this past week... lots to say.
saturday was busy: lector practice for the third week in a row... conrad's party...hmmm...becky/lauren..."itching for crabs" boxers (hahahahahaha)...joe's lack of hair!...backpacking stories...flinging forks into the center of the table...looking at cotillion pictures...mark and valerie's usual shpeal on my lack of freedom at berkeley...home...sleep...meet the parents...printing pictures for 10 hours and not having them finish!
sunday was FUN!: woke up...pictures still printing...run to Kmart...church...chit-chat with Bishop Cummins...confirmation...party!...house blessing...wax burns! ouch!...food...friends & family...gifts...watched the graduation & cotillion (especially the cha-cha!!!! hahahahahaha... and specifc parts of the slide show *eyebrows* you know...)...becky came... becky left...kevin, matt, and megan...afternoons at megan's & grad night's pics...kevin's adoption into the family...christian kicking me and poking me and slapping me repeatedly...cito not stopping him!...mitch not stopping him either!...megan left...becky came back...chilled in living room...joey showed up! didn't expect him...pillow fights (me v. cito)... DDR room!...conrad and jordan come...hang out in garage...peter shows up as me and becky leave for SAFEWAY...quick pineapple juice run with becky and peter...100% juice v. not...weirdo looking guys in the checkout line *creepy*...home...peter's pictures (lots of them... )... conrad & jordan bounce... becky's gone... chess w/ peter... rachel v. peter...unwashed cherries! hahahahaha...cheerleaders abound...josh on DDR...rachel almost won, almost! shucks...last of party guests, peter leaves around 11...THE RING with JV...totally wrong subtitles! ahahahahahaha... sleep...
monday was work:back to the office... 2 1/2 hours of stuffing envelopes!!!!!!!!!!...CTK...no kate...interesting drawings...work work work... went to the alvear's...late night discussions about personal criticisms... i don't feel like i helped enough...
tuesday was NO WORK: Becky's last day in Cali for 5 months... stupid "baby on board" drivers can't notice people in their blindspot! LOOKOUT! you do not own the road if you've got that ugly yellow diamond on your bumper aight! stupid stupid drivers!... lots of chips and salsa... my new best friend, copper...tacos...blue crush...pictures...home...sleep...dinner...AMERICAN JUNIORS! OMG i'm jealous!... randy's house (WOW!)... sleep
wednesday was yesterday: long day at work...TGB not happy...interesting deponents...back aches, shoulder aches, neck aches, everything aches... park... massage (nice...)...relaxing...work work work...crazy Conference scheduling! madness till 5:20... 15 minutes over... more stupid drivers... Pittsburg w/ Nanay Pisang <-- i like her!...online "baseball" talk and the day we've all been waiting for, LAUREN!!!! eeeeeeeeeeeee... it's just not the same online...
thursday was today:work work work...CTK...kate's cool!...KAIROS...ideals...work work work...home...eat...nap...blog!

sigh... i've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately...some random, others not so random... but i gtg now... busy busy busy!
posted by Rita at 8:56 PM - 0 comments
Friday, June 20, 2003
added a newbie to the links... mark.. he's one of the banatao scholars.. and the contributor to THE NAME OF TRUTH below.. but i don't think he knows that since i got it off his AIM profile... oh wellz... and get this.. HE HAS A LONGER NAME THAN I DO! i don't think i've ever met anyone with 6 names... take me for example: i've got 5... and i thought that was kinda overdoing it... wow! what a feat! not like he had anything to do with it though.. i hope? weird. nm... wow. 6 names.. i'm in awe. (and easily amused right now i suppose)

it's so crazy reading old letters and notes and *ahem*convos*ahem*...
posted by Rita at 5:22 PM - 0 comments
Rita is
question of the day: is it disgraceful to talk on the phone with *gasp* boys?

things are racing through my mind at a mile a minute.... mostly about certain relationships. i can't believe my parents. it's sooooooo not fair. i just don't understand why they won't let me learn about life... i mean, people learn from experiences and right now all i know is that my parents have no faith in my judgement about MYSELF! it's purely ridiculous.. i understand that i'm the first born so this is all new to them.. but it's new to me too.. and i feel that if i'm ok with it.. the least they could do is support me.. i'm 18. and not to say that just cuz i'm 18 i think i'm all-knowing and shit 'cuz there are some really immature adults out there... but i'm not one of those bums! my parents raised me with values and what i don't get is how they still can't trust me even after 18 years of raising me... and if that's the case: then they've failed me! yeah.. it sounds harsh.. but that's really what it all boils down to.. that's the point of parenting.. sure there's always money and providing involved.. but what about the intangibles, the personal stuff, the feelings, the morals.. do they think i have none 'cuz i want to spend time with peter and lauren and becky and other people now that it's summer?!? if they think that... then the last 18 years of my life have been for naught........................... everything's been in vain. nothing to build wonderful experiences on. nothing to sustain me and my adult life. no way of knowing that i can handle what's ahead of me.... because my parents don't feel i've matured, or am smart enough to weigh the importance of school or work or relationships...

THIS IS BULL!

Love of a lifetime...
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." - Winnie The Pooh

...sigh
posted by Rita at 9:49 AM - 0 comments
Thursday, June 19, 2003
MY PARENTS HAVE FAILED ME!
posted by Rita at 11:39 PM - 0 comments
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
Rita is
question of the day: compliments of adam carter -- "riddle for you: A monkey times 10 equals a twinkie.....think about it, its pretty hard, i didnt get it for a while"

I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.

from What Lips My Lips Have Kissed - Edna St. Vincent Millay

sigh...

The Name of Truth <--idk the author, but compliments of Mark Llorente (fellow banatao scholar and CAL-bound)

As echoes dissipate into the halls
Where once had chanted some angelic choir
The madrigals of wordless wholesome grace
Or soldiers marched on haughtily to brawl
And in their blazing out-flamed passion's fire,
So I predict my love for you to trace
The shadows of my heart and through them die
With nothing but a whimper in its place.

But nay, the phantoms past bear not your face,
And echoes gone from long before belie
The quality and timelessness of truth.
I rise affirmed as though my wings gained flight,
For Veritas knows not an age nor youth,
And love like stars grows brighter in the night.

sigh...

and from the bored.. comes the crazy!!! OMG!!! so i was being all non-constructive again... looking at people's AIM info's cuz i've got NOTHING TO DO (SOMEONE CALL THE FIRM!) and stumbled onto this cool website.. this should definitely keep me for falling into a coma... the best page in the universe that's what it's called.. no joke! so.. ya.. i'll be spending my time looking more at it now.. peace.
posted by Rita at 2:26 PM - 0 comments
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
Rita is not
question of the day: do kids give kids graduation presents?

Holla. Ima silva dolla... catch me when i come on tour. Trina

Ok.. so i'm not TOTALLY boy crazy.. i'm semi-boycrazy.. more to blog about laterz....

... and i'm back.. yup. bored again.

so... here's another random thing: you fill it in and tell me what you're thinking!!!! comment below...

I _____ Rita.
Rita is _____.
Rita thinks a lot about _______.
When I think of _________, I think of Rita.
If I were alone in a room with Rita_____.
Rita needs _____.
I want to ____ Rita.
Someday Rita will _____.
Rita reminds me of _____.
Without Rita _____.
Memories of Rita are _____.
Rita can be _____.
_____ is how I describe meeting Rita.
Worst thing about Rita is _____.
Best thing about Rita is _____.
I am ________ with Rita.
If I could describe Rita in a word: _______.
posted by Rita at 11:41 AM - 0 comments
Monday, June 16, 2003
Rita is
question of the day: where does your loyalty stand, with your friends or with your family?

sigh.. another not-so-hectic day at work... hence, why i can blog! yes yes yes... rita, you should be working, you're entire attention should be with your job... well, lil ms. conscience... I'M BORED.. AND I'M A GIRL SO WE CAN MULTITASK VERY VERY WELL!

yup. like it says up top: i'm a lil boycrazy right now.. go figure.. but when am i not, huh? oops.. i didn't say that.. lol. sigh... this was a good weekend... there was will's party... ping-pong tourney... CAKE!... dancing on the lawn demetri thrown into the pool... aimlessly driving down alhambra rd -- pleasant hill rd... backtracking... spies @ coldstone's... pat, our burrito boy... men on men books (eek!)... lector practice... christian's party and the grad chair!... kalayaan & joan's 2 male friends... peter's party... doubles ping-pong... "crusty cheese" and "princess" cakes... gender divisions at dinner... frisbee... a nice goodbye (hehe)... home 2 DDR!!!!!!... father's day... mass (BOYS!)... THE CREDIT CARD FIASCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... cleaning the house... arranging pics from cotillion... sleeping to peter's Kairos CD and then realizing it at 4 AM (my batteries!!!)

anyway.. it was a nice weekend all in all... can't wait for this 2nd week of summer!
posted by Rita at 12:47 PM - 0 comments
Friday, June 13, 2003
Rita is

so... i'm at work right now.. BLOGGING! oooo. bad rita. but whatever... it's been a sloooooooooooooooowwwwwww day! like really slooooooooooooooooooowwww... that's why i can do all this without interruption... muahahahahahaha! anyways... more interesting callers today, from the persistant to the strange to the confused to the quick talkers... i'm good to go at this place! GO ME!

ok... i'm really bored now.. so let's start a new thang on my blog... let's call it the daily question! (ha... this is how freakin' BORED i am, ok! save me! someone call the firm!) today's question is: DO YOU THINK LOVE IS BLIND? got an answer... well i'd love to hear/read it... so leave me a comment, yo!

Flying without wings ruben studdard <--the american idol!

Everybody's looking for a something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lovers eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So, impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
at any given time or place

It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
Cos you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings

You´re the place my life begins
You'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

posted by Rita at 12:52 PM - 0 comments
Thursday, June 12, 2003
hahahahahaha... some funny stories from today at work... i'll talk about em later.





How DUMB are you?

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What cartoon dog are you?

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What lesser-known Simpsons character are you?

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How ASIAN are you?

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How BLACK are you?

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How MEXICAN are you?

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How WHITE are you?

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Are you RACIST?

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more to talk about later... dinnertime!
posted by Rita at 6:21 PM - 0 comments
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
Rita is

so the first day of work wasn't bad at all... phew. it's a rush... but the key to it all is to stay calm and collected and polite... it's hard to speak all adult-ish and professional but i think i've got it down..."McNamara law firm"..."may i ask who is calling?"..."one moment, please"..."would you like me to check in with his secretary?"..."oh, [so & so] is currently unavailable. would you like [so & so]'s voicemail?"..."thank you. one moment, please." ha.. got the routine. the only time i got flustered was when there were like 5 people calling and i had to get them all on hold... CRAZY! but i managed... they usually hang up and try again anyways...
the people are really nice... and some of the younger (20s-early 30s) male attorneys and clerks are kinda cute! lol... and the boss' son... ooooooowee! jk... grayson's just 19! but it's ok... he goes to school in Idaho... what the heck is in Idaho?!? hmmmm... what else went down today?
ok. so i've got 3 breaks during the day... @ 10:30 for 15 minutes, @ 1:00 for an hour lunch, and @ 3:30 for 15 minutes... and i go the the kitchen/copy room/lounge and there the O magazine.. ya know, like the Oprah magazine. anyways... i was reading it and some of the articles were particularly stimulating, mostly cuz they talk about the other sex, but hey... i'll take all the advise & comforting i can get, ok. there was this article about "how to raise mr. right" and an article on the 10 kinds of guys to avoid and how to snag a guy (like the DOs and DON'Ts)... yup. very very interesting... made me think of the kind of guy i want, whether it be a boyfriend or a soulmate... i mean.. you've gotta be picky and who cares if it takes you forever to find your partner for life... you don't wanna be tied down to a loser, right? so why change yourself to fit him? or why lower your standards so you're not the only single person within the family? if he's really the one meant for you, he'll love you for you and you should love him for him, even if he's not just like you... i definitely don't want a clone of myself to spend the rest of my life with (when i get to the point in my life where i'm looking for a husband) but idk... i shouldn't even refer to it as "looking for a husband"... cuz i don't wanna spend my adulthood doing that either... i mean, i'll keep my eyes peeled, but i'm not gonna make it my purpose, my reason to keep living... till we meet, i'm gonna enjoy life with the ones i love. i'm gonna meet all the people i can. i'm gonna immerse myself in the richness this world has to offer. i'm gonna travel. i'm gonna read. i'm gonna laugh. i'm gonna sing. i'm gonna dance. i'm gonna talk with the people i love till the sun comes up. i'm gonna be successful inside and outside of the office. i'm gonna sleep with joy in my heart and no regrets for the day that has passed. but... when i do connect with that person who i am meant for (not to say that i haven't yet... who knows?), it's gonna be magic! he's gonna travel and read and laugh and sing and dance and talk and enjoy life with me... he's never gonna bore me, cuz love makes everything so interesting and intriguing.. and we'll keep that fire burning. but love can be quiet and reflective... sometimes the slightest touch or the glimmer in their eye can be enough... can mean more than a million words. love is ever-changing.. evolving with the people... it never fails.

and another thing... ok... for the last few weeks peter has been reciting these lines from a song (see what's bolded below)... *dreamy sigh*... the thing is... i had always thought it was a guy that sang it.. well i was wrong. it kinda changes those words for me, but ya know, that's ok... cuz i like the way peter says it better... hehe. so i downloaded it and i listened and the first time i heard it, i was like "what the heck is this honky-tonk music?" but then i listened more and it grew on me... kinda.

As Cool As I Am - Dar Williams

Yea, there was a time I didnt like the love, I liked the climbers,
I was no sister then, I was running out of time and one liners,
And I was afraid, like you are when youre too young to know the time, and
So I watched the way you take your fear and hoard the horizon,
You point, you have a word for every woman you can lay your eyes on,
Like you own them just because you bought the time,
And you turn to me, you say you hope Im not threatened,

Oh -- Im not that petty, as cool as I am, I thought youd know this already,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.

So now were at a club, you watch the woman dancing, she is drunk,
She is smiling and shes falling in a slow, descending funk,
And the whole bar is loud and proud and everybodys trying, yeah.
You play the artist, saying, "Is it how she moves, or how she looks?"
I say, its loneliness suspended to our own like grappling hooks,
And as long as shes got noise, shes fine.
But I could teach her how I learned to dance when the musics ended,


Oh -- and thats not petty, as cool as I am, I thought youd know this already,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.

You tried to make me doubt, to make me guess, tried to make me feel like a little less,
Oh, I liked you when your soul was bared, I thought you knew how to be scared,
And now its amazing what you did to make me stay,
But truth is just like time, it catches up and it just keeps going,

And so Im leaving, you can find out how much better things can get,
And if it helps, Id say I feel a little worse than I did when we met,
So when you find someone else, you can try again, it might work next time,
You look out of the kitchen window and you shake your head and say low,
"If I could believe that stuff, Id say that woman has a halo,"
And I look out and say, "Yeah, shes really blond,"
And then I go outside and join the others, I am the others,

Oh -- and thats not easy, I dont know what you saw, I want somebody who sees me,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.

posted by Rita at 8:15 PM - 0 comments
Monday, June 09, 2003
Rita is

quiz time...






Click to take the quiz!
click here to find out which asian action superstar you are!


You are Michelle Yeo. you are a responsible, nurturing and caring person. you like the romantic side of life. whether it'sby a british secret agent or a master swordsman. you like it all. you try and take care of the people you care about. but sometimes they dont take ur help too kindly. but that's okay. cause you got it all.



I GOT A JOB!!!!!! i'm working as a receptionist at a law firm in walnut creek... 4 days a week (don't know the day off yet)... 8:15-5:15... kinda cuts into most of the day... but i'll deal... no one wakes up till noon... and it only starts to cool down a bit around 6... so i'm good for now... but yeah.. now i can't go to Great America with Becky.. (to becky: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. A MILLION TIMES: I'm sorry.) so we're gonna see Finding Nemo tomorrow and then watch Lilo & Stitch at my place... some chill time before she's on her way to Air Force
posted by Rita at 11:55 AM - 0 comments
Sunday, June 08, 2003
Rita is

survey time...

LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Rita Jo Rose Cruz Encarnacion
-- Birthplace: San Francisco, CA
-- Current Location: Concord, CA
-- Eye Color: brown
-- Hair Color: black
-- Height: 5' 6"
-- Righty or Lefty: right
-- Zodiac Sign: gemini


LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: filipino
-- The shoes you wore today: FILA sneaker, Roxy flip-flops
-- Your fears: death, rejection, failure
-- Your perfect pizza: pepperoni, mushroom, ham, pineapple, lots of cheese! (mmmmm...) *stuffed crust please*
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: spending a good portion of my life with someone i love, being more appreciative, making money doing something i enjoy, traveling in general.


LAYER THREE:
-- Your thoughts first waking up today: sigh. what time is it? 2 PM! shit.
-- Your best physical feature: i like my eyes... but you can like whatever the heck you want.
-- Your bedtime: fluctuates.
-- Your most missed memory: too many...


LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: COKE!
-- McDonald's or Burger King: In-n-Out
-- Single or group dates: i like the one on one and the privacy, but groups can be a lot of fun!
-- Adidas or Nike: shoe brands? who cares?
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: i'm not much of a tea drinker, but my auntie aida's raspberry iced tea kicks ass... i like that one!
-- Chocolate or vanilla: why not both? i know! NEOPOLITAN!
-- Cappuccino or coffee: cappuccino


LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: never!
-- Cuss: trying to stop.
-- Sing: when i want to...
-- Have a crush(es): yes... well, no... idk if it's still in that crush phase...
-- Do you think you've been in love: yes
-- Want to go to college: hellz yeah! GO CAL!
-- Like(d) high school: i loved it. friends make it worth it.
-- Want to get married: yes
-- Believe in yourself: most of the time, yeah...
-- Get motion sickness: not anymore
-- Think you're attractive: i have good and bad days.
-- Think you're a health freak: hahahahahahaha...
-- Get along with your parent(s): well... it depends.
-- Like thunderstorms: mmm, yes yes yes.
-- Play an instrument: piano.

LAYER SIX:
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: *gasp* yes. at church, but that doesn't count does it... so i guess that's a negative
-- Smoked: NEVER!
-- Done a drug: nope
-- Had Sex: nope
-- Made Out: hmmmm... these are getting personal... hmmmm...
-- Gone on a date: hmmmm...
-- Gone to the mall?: yup
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: not this month..
-- Eaten sushi: not this month either...
-- Been on stage: yes. valedictorian speech rocked!
-- Been dumped: nope
-- Made homemade cookies: nope
-- Gone skinny dipping: hahahahahahahaha... that's a laugh.
-- Dyed your hair: no
-- Stolen anything: nope

LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: nope
-- Been caught "doing something": what are you implying by "doing something"... n/a
-- Been called a tease: nope... but i've been called other stuff.
-- Gotten beaten up: yeah. by megan's pool...lol
-- Shoplifted: nope
-- Changed who you were to fit in: yea.. that was a mistake and a big waste of time!

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hoping to be married: someday...
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2 or 3 or 4...idk... i've got time to figure out names... any guys got suggestions *wink*wink*... lol
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: wow.. idk.. so many different scenarios.. can i have them all?
-- How do you want to die: with my love at my side...
-- Where do you want to go to college: UC Berkeley
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: civil engineer, mother, wife, RULER OF THE WORLD (oops... i didn't say that)
-- What country would you most like to visit: the middle eastern culture is so interesting but idk right now if that'd be the best place to go...

LAYER NINE:
In a guy...
-- Best eye color? i don't care.
-- Best hair color? really, i don't care.
-- Short or long hair: medium to long. *giggle* i love playing with boys' hair.
-- Height: well he has to be taller than me & that's not gonna be hard to find.
-- Best weight: proportional to their height... not too big, not too thin... just enough to hold on to and feel all cushion-y... lol
-- Best articles of clothing: it's amazing what a nice shirt can do... or boxers. mmm...

LAYER TEN:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 0.
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: small amount.
-- Number of CDs that I own: not enough.
-- Number of piercings: 2 (1 per ear), but going for more.
-- Number of tattoos: 0
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: more than 5, less than 10 i guess
-- Number of scars on my body: a few... stupid chicken pox, the surgery, nasty bites...
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: i have many, but i do plan on changing that...
posted by Rita at 11:24 PM - 0 comments
Rita is

sigh. grad night's over. thus ends my high school career... thinking back over these last four years, idk... high school was great. idk why people bitch n moan about it so much? i loved it... i mean... it's not as if high school was all peachy keen and perfect, but it's those rough times that really make it memorable sometimes.. sometimes those are the things that'll stick out most often. the bad times. but ya kno.. i've gotten through them, whether it be with friends or family or just on my own.. i've triumphed over it... i've grown... i've changed... i've learned about myself in the process. and although i've learned some pretty shitty things about myself, i've got some redeeming values. thank goodness. but even with all the learning.. i'm still really confused. lost, maybe? i mean... i've only really scratched the surface. i'm 18. a good chunk of my life ended two weeks ago. my childhood just flew by... and it's weird cuz i still play those same mind games, and put up the same defenses... not to go into all the psychobabble stuff... but am i regressing? it's a weird thought, i know... but could it be?
posted by Rita at 10:14 PM - 0 comments
Thursday, June 05, 2003
[1:29 PM]first day of summer... 2 days till grad... this whole interim is kinda crazy... i couldn't sleep last night... i just laid there thinking... STUPID YEARBOOKS!!!!


[6:17 PM]so i'm getting rid of everything related to CHS academics and what do i come across but pictures of Europe and... "OLIVE GREEN!!!!!" i found em... oooo baby.


[7:25 PM] so the first day of summer is almost over.. well it's only 7:25... idk i guess i don't set my standards that high for summer... ya know... i totally thought that this would be the summer of all summers... out of high school... with the coolest bunch of friends ever... mucho dinero from the cotillion... a car... no cheerleading... no volunteering... no stress... BUT OH THE STRESS!!!!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!! OH MY WANTS, MY NEEDS, MY FREEDOM... GIVE ME MY FREEDOM!

I have everything... but no permission to do what i want... i want to do so much. mainly... i just want to get out of this house... i WILL NOT have another summer of sitting in front of the TV or the computer or cleaning the house every other day! THINGS NEED TO START CHANGING AROUND THIS HOUSE... I'M 18, NOT 8. GEEZ!
posted by Rita at 7:25 PM - 0 comments
Monday, June 02, 2003
[4:57 PM] i feel so inadequate.


[4:59 PM] i am frustrated (no phone, no credit card, no going out, no going out with boys, no time, no FREEDOM!!!!!) my parents hate me.
posted by Rita at 4:59 PM - 0 comments
About Me

Name: Rita Jo Rose Cruz Encarnacion

Home: Concord, CA

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