i've rediscovered the fun in Yahoo! Games... wow. i'm re-addicted. is this bad? actually, i'm kinda bored of them now. they're kinda the same in many ways, and--come to think of it--they're really not that challenging. so scratch that: i just un-addicted myself. lol... i'm a good self-therapist.
so rita, how was your weekend? well... it was normal. stayed home mostly. went to one mass (as opposed to the three masses i did for christmas). redid my blog w/ a "2004" theme and redid my xanga w/ a "good football" theme. talked to some friends. watched some movies. (aw... we orlando ) ate. yup... normal, normal, normal.
eating: OH MY GOD! who's getting near that Freshman 15 mark?? *raises hands* i am. i am... aye yi yi. this is soooooooo sad. i'm making a New Year's Resolution to work out EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! oy vey... i tried on my jr prom/sr ball dress from last year and AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! pop went the clasp. truly humiliating. MY RIBCAGE EXPANDED! how does that happen?!?
hope everyone's having a swell break & if you're ever in the area, call me up and we'll do something (idk what... but it'll be something) and oh yeah, norcal gathering sometime soon, maybe? *ahem* we've gotta break somebody out *ahem*
i've decided to bring back an old favorite! enjoy!! and if you want to turn the david gray song in the background off just click on "comment please" and it'll go away (feel free to leave me a comment while you're at it as well! hehe)
i'm banning rachel from my computer from now on... she's deleted a folder full of ASUC documents and other important things... just cuz it says "filelib" doesn't mean you can delete it!!! sheesh... now i've lost pretty much everything i worked on this last semester. this should be fun to explain to everyone.
wow. it's been a long day... quite an unhappy day considering it's almost christmas... ya know, considering my family, i'd expect squabbles every now and then, but today took the cake... wow. can i go back to berkeley now? i'm ready for that new start i'd been wishing for. i really am.
in the course of two hours i've come to a few important conclusions about my family dynamics, and now i just can't sleep w/ a clear conscience or a clear head... feel free to call. i'm sure i'll be up. (yes, possibly even at 5 am)
And even though the moment passed me by
I still can't turn away
'Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Got tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send
Get lost or thrown away
And now we're grown up orphans
That never knew their names
We don't belong to no one
That's a shame
But if you could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell 'em your name
Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are
You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell 'em your name
I won't tell 'em your name
Mmm, mmm, mmm
I won't tell 'em your name... Ow!
I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell 'em your name
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
why is it that a sad song can make me feel all fuzzy inside???
i'll think about that one a lil more.. but in the meantime, lemme rant about the last few days...
thursday: i was super busy on thursday... i woke up at 8. took a shower. ate breakfast (mmmmmm... waffles. yum.) and headed over to St. Agnes to watch my sister's Christmas Pagaent dress rehearsal... i was only there for about 45 minutes though... but boy did those 45 minutes send me back into my past. this year's show was the same as the show we did when i was in the 6th grade except for the "joyful, joyful" song for Sister Act 2 in the beginning.. Rachel had a solo. she opened up the show. well done, lil sis. but yeah... wow. the memories! *sigh* "C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-E! oh oh oh, we are gonna celebrate, and we will shout hip-hip-hooray, so come along let's not be late for christmas. oh oh oh, it's that happy time of year, when we are full of yuletide cheer, we welcome you from far and near, it's christmas! it's christmas" hehehe.. flashbacks! flashbacks! flashbacks! hehe. it was way cute... i forget what grade sang it, but they were singing the song we sang when i was a 6th grader. *sigh* joe. the year the madness began...
let's go back to my 6th grade christmas experience: the song's a twangy, western christmas song. and in the show we had dancers doing a lil square dance... i got picked to dance with a couple of other students... i think there were 16 of us in all. (8 couples? yeah, that makes sense.) and somehow i got paired up with joe. never did i imagine that he would be my first "boyfriend"... *sigh* it was a crazy time. i was pretty averse to boys. boys=distractions=bad grades. boys=waste of time. boys=bad idea. i just didn't care for hooking up. i remember all the girls getting catty and rather bitchy when it came to the boys in our class, especially when two girls liked the same guy. but that's just how it goes. that's how it'll always go... and so, joe and i got to know eachother real well through dancing together. and then... people started to joke around about him liking me. they even called me "mrs. lucia". yeah... idk about that. but ya know.. when you hear those things enough, you start to build feelings for that person too... and that's what happened. so we'd sit together in class. and i'd hold his jacket and watch while he kicked butt in prison-ball. and send candy grams. and we'd mess around in PE class. it was good fun. those were the days... and then he hooked up with bernice the next year, but we were always pretty tight while they were going out and then she graduated, and then it was open game all over again! hehe! the "joe-phase" did however cause major divisions on the girl front. (ie. ellen and jessica... ooo they HATED! but whatever...) after grad, we didn't see much of eachother except for at confirmation youth group and at a few track meets (that was unexpected). he ended up being one of my 18 roses at my cotillion... good times. good stuff.
yeah.. i wonder how he's doing now at St. Mary's?
*end memory*
so after that, i went to buy tickets to LOTR: Return of the King for me and becky and peter. then becky & i went to carondelet to visit some teachers. we talked to hodges, o'sul, gilbert, okey, & payne. it was nice to see them... i felt really old walking through the halls, but i'm really just 1-4 years older than these girls... idk, whatever. then we headed over to downtown pleasant hill to see the 1:45 movie. we hadn't had lunch so we grabbed some jamba juice. mmmm so good. but sooooo cold! so we stood outside of the theatre for awhile waiting for peter. and in usual peter fashion he got there right as it was starting (i shoulda seen that one coming). becky had already gone in to save us seats, so we grabbed some popcorn and followed. i told her to flash the blue screen on her phone when she saw us come in, and she did! it was cool.... a totally blackened room and all of a sudden a bright blue flash! ahahahaha... the movie was alright. some VERY GOOD moments.. and some VERY GOOD one-liners from our dear legolas. hahahaha... oh orlando... no worries, you're still the prettiest of them all. hehe. yeah... 3 1/2 hours. that's a long time to sit in a movie theatre in a cushiony, yet not all that comfortable seat. the popcorn was ok. it got better when becky and i got to the middle of the bag again (the 2nd butter level). becky's such a girl though... and i guess i was, too, at certain parts... poor peter, sitting with two girly girls, but he should be used to that by now. hahaha... hmmmm.... but, oh, the frustration! (ugh.. let's not go into that right now. i'm not the right place for that)
so after the movie we all went to our cars and becky said something to me. and she was right. but it's sooooooo hard. really hard. and i'm not ready. i'm just not. i've tried--believe me. but... idk. it's not fair. life's not fair. my life is so hard.
later that night, we went to the actual christmas show. talked to some parents who had kids in my class. chatted with sr. james & mr. mcwilliams. chismis-d with auntie marie...
then i went home. unwinded. and spent 2 hours on the phone with lauren. yay for the good 'ol closet convo...
friday: woke up @ 5:30. drove 1 1/2 to Palo Alto (i know i know.. stanfurd... boo!) met up with jennifer from the Asian Pacific Fund and Hans and Craig who were all Banatao Scholars. Then we all proceeded to the Banatao home! WOW!!! they had such a beautiful home. we had breakfast on the veranda w/ mr. & mrs. banatao, & gail & jessica from the Asian Pacific Fund as well as Mark & Christine who were other scholarship recipients. we talked and shared out semester stories. it was very nice. at the end, they were telling us about a summer program where we were exchange college-age students from the philippines and from the US. it sounds way fun! a totally awesome experience, i'm sure. i'm thinking of applying. and also, they're planning a summer retreat at their Vineyards in Sonoma. i'm there!
the rest of the day went by kinda slowly. i got home. had lunch. napped for 2 hours. hooked up my computer (yay!) and did some more bumming around. (note: i need to see lauren sometime before she leaves. we've got "business" to attend to)
today: just got back from the mall. christmas shopping... ack! what a pain. i'm too picky. i still don't know what i'm getting my close friends... done the calendar thing and the mini-book thing. gift cards are too impersonal, but ok. idk... i need help. i'm losing touch with the psychic connection we had going for awhile... hmmm... i'll sleep on it.
oh, and speaking of sleep... DREAMS!
OH
MY
GOD!
i had the best mini-dream last night!!!! wow! i fell asleep around 12 and woke up around 12:30 from it... WOW! definitely NOT G RATED. *sigh* only in my dreams... hehe!
ooo! update! i finished the danceworx video.. they taped the night show too! the night show was MUCH MUCH better!! yay.... i look cool! lol... yup. yay... i'm not a horrible dancer anymore!
i've been with xanga for 195 days now... shall i go premium?? HECK NO! NO WAY, JOSE!
... and in other news:
I'M DONE!!!!
took my last final today... handed it to the professor with a great big smile! he asked, "how was it?" i said "it was fine." and then i proceeded to exit 2050 VLSB (not Very Large Science Building... Valley Life Science Building! lol)
it was a goooooooood feeling.
and it's been all good feelings since 3:15 today! (except for maybe the 2 seconds where i felt my heart jump ) yeah.. we had an earthquake! i was just sitting here, kinda like i am now, and all of a sudden i'm moving! what! i was on the phone with peter at the time... hahaha... the earth moved. jk jk. had a quick lil chat with pk and then called lauren back. i was actually leaving her a voice message when pk called. well you see, i called him first, but he hadn't come in yet... but by the time he'd called me back i was leaving lauren a message and then i messed up the message cuz my phone was beeping and i was like "ah!" and i rejected the call and i think i ended the message with "shit."... sorry, lauren! but yeah... after i talked to peter, i called lauren back and left her a better message... it was still wacko though... hahaha... it's good to be on break!
but i'm still here... till 9:30. and so i went to dinner with camille and vaughn and kevin. we ate at one of the restaurants in the "asian ghetto"... hahaha... camille told me they were eating there, and i was like "ummm... where exactly is the asian ghetto?" ahahahahha... yeah. the last day of my first semester here at CAL was the first day i've eaten at the asian ghetto... hahahaha! oy vey.
yup. today was full of firsts actually! >> buying a blue book. actually i bought two for good measure. >> eating frozen sushi... it was not good. it was gross actually >> sitting in 2050 VLSB >> getting asked to sign up for a Citibank credit line... hahaha.. the dude was quite charming. what can i say? i'm easily amused... but hey, i got a free shirt out of it! i'm "SEXY" ... hehe. >> walked by People's Park. that was actually kinda sad. i think we should donate the "ultimate DC mission" prize to them guys. what do you think? >> going to gene's apt on haste to get the Danceworx video... he was lookin'... ummm... nice. >> eating at asian ghetto... yup! oh yeah >> i defrosted my frig... that was kinda fun actually. haha! i'm such a nerd...
but yeah.. EVERYONE'S HOME! i'm way excited for that... tomorrow should be fun. becky & i will be meeting @ CHS around 11:30. pk might come around 12 (hopefully he'll wake up in time). and then we're gonna get tickets for the 1:45 LOTR @ DT PH... hahaha... uncode that! lol. we'll probably grab lunch before the movie. and then watch the movie of course! (lauren's watching it right now... i bet she's "eeeeeeeeeee" her head off! but at least she's one-on-one orlando time... good therapy. good therapy)
OH YEAH!
GOOD FOOTBALL! nuff said... SUPERBOWL SUNDAY has taken on an ALL NEW MEANING! can't wait...
week ahead...
weds: in berkeley, last final, pick up danceworx video, GO HOME
thurs: head back to chs, watch LOTR, rachel's christmas pagaent
fri: banatao brunch
sat: ?
sun: church
mon: ?
tues: ?
weds: midnight mass
thurs: CHRISTMAS! duh!!!
just got back from a most enjoyable lunch w/ camille, vaughn, and jaelyn. good times! it looks like some boys have decided to start a club... it sounds sooo cool--the only problem is that it's an all guy thing. Girls, let's start one of our own!! we'll chat later...
and it looks like vaughn, kevin, mark, and rannel are living together next semester... and their place, it's gonna be called the "MAXI PAD". hahahahahahahahaha... it'll be the place to be! (the fun house) and i guess holly and francesca might live together too... (the study lounge). yup... and where will i be? i'll be in stern again... on the northside. darn engineering! my life is so hard...
man, this semester just flew by! i can't believe it... i really can't. but then again... i'm glad that there's no more chem in my future!! hahaha!! oh well... it's no big deal. so what if my academic record took a plunge... your first semester is always the hardest, they say. i definitely didn't feel that way in high school though... high school was soooooo easy! geez... all you high schoolers out there... enjoy it!! really do! it's the time of your life... until college! hahaha... college has been a good experience so far. i really need to grow up though... in many ways. i can say that i've grown since august
((WOAH! the crane in the big ditch by Pimentel just started swinging very quickly!! that was very scary!))
ok... oh, yeah, me growing up: there's a long way to go before real adulthood... kinda. or at least before i'm done with school and need to move out of the parent's place (actually... they've told me many times that i can live there till i'm married?!?! ummmm...) and get a stable job and start focusing on all of that including starting a family of my own (provided i ever settle down w/ a man or lower my standards a lil... jk jk. i swear i'm not THAT picky.) yeah... i've got awhile till i get there.
but on the way... i really hope i can keep these friendships going. i mean, lauren and i have already talked it over and my kids'll go over to her place to play, and mine to eat... haha. but other than that, who knows what's gonna happen? Friends Forever, right?
+ THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SONG I'VE HEARD IN A LOOONG TIME! THANKS VAUGHN! and yeah... i think we're good enough friends to help eachother commit suicide... (hahahah! WHAT?!?! WHY!?!?! <-- a wally-ism.) *oh right.. the -isms... the boys are gonna compile a coffee-table book of all us first years. profiles. pictures. -isms... now they just need a coffee table!* ok... so the song goes like this:
Big Ass Rock - The Full Monty
Let's find a rock
I mean a big-ass rock
Or maybe something like
A cinder block is better
I'll hoist it up
And drop it on your face, my buddy
And just before the lights go out
You'll see my smile and you'll know
You've got a friend
With a rock
Who cares
I mean a big-ass rock
Or rope
I got some quality rope
Made for a man who's devoid of hope
Like you are, my buddy
Michael -
Unh, that's Malcolm.
Yeah, Malcolm. Right!
And I won't leave you swinging there
Twitching like a fish while you claw the air
I'll grab your feet
And pal o' mine
I'll pull real hard
And snap your spinal cord
The world is cold when you're alone and
They ignore you
But don't kill yourself
We'll do it for you
You've got a friend
You've got a friend
You've got a friend
You know, I asked a guy once if he'd mind putting me in a barrel
and sending me over the falls. You know what the son of a bitch
said? "Drop dead, asshole."
People are pricks. I asked this guy to take his air compressor and
drill me with a six-inch nail right through the eye...
What'd he say?
"I'm low on nails."
People are selfish pricks.
Another time, now get this, I just lay down in front of a steam roller
and asked the guy just to proceed, you know, business as usual, and just
squash me like a bug.
That's a good way to go, Jer, the ol' bug squash.
Hey! We could tie a plastic laundry bag over his head.
Naw, that's such a wimp suicide.
I stuck my finger in a socket once. It hurt real bad...but it
didn't kill me.
Malcolm, stay out of this.
I've got a friend
Like Carole King
Or was it Carly Simon
Used to sing?
I always get those two confused
But anyway -
I turned around
And suddenly
I'm not alone
It ain't just me
I'm like a player on the team
Player on our team!
I'm part of the gang...
Part of the gang!
A member of the club
Welcome to the club!
Oooh ... let's get a club
I like the big-ass rock
Naw, one good swing and
I'll clean his clock
Forever
Let gravity do the work!
It's a man's way to die, Mikey.
Malcolm!
I got friends
Friends who will
Love you like a maniac
And lead you like a lamb
Ooooh...
To the railroad track
And tie you down
I've got friends!
Ooooh...
Or tickle your wrist
With a single-edge razor
Or buy you a beer with
A Draino chaser
Or dump you in the
River with a rock
ok. so i was watching dawson's creek yesterday... and joey and pacey are having "a moment", i guess. and "this year's love" starts to play in the background! wow... memories. i hadn't heard that song for a long, long time. i think the last time i'd heard it was sometime in september/october on peter's page. i haven't checked it since cuz he doesn't update. (lauren doesn't update much either of late)... lost hopes... *shakes head*
anyway, got into a whole david gray mood and listened to all the stuff of his that i had *sigh*
to quote the man (and my yearbook): "this year's love had better last..."
it's gonna be playing on my page indefinitely, i suppose... enjoy!
in response to camille's comment: I LOVE THAT PART TOO!!!!
oh my goodness... picture this:
it's a cool, crisp night. you hear the doorbell ring... and you go to answer it. on the doorstep is a guy. but not just any other guy... he's your friend. you know he had feelings for you, but for whatever reason he never professed these to you... until now. he's got a boom box that's playing an instrumental "silent night" softly. he's got cue cards. they say everything he's wanted to say but couldn't. they say it all... little phrases all adding up... and the last one says, "To me you are perfect."
EEEEEEEEE!!!
why can't that sort of thing happen to me??
i mean. i don't expect anyone out there at this point to be in love with me... (but if you are... then what are you waiting for??? *hint*hint*) and i don't honestly expect anyone to drive out to berkeley and knock on my door and pull this kind of stunt or even drive out to concord for the same reason. it's just one of those things that always work out in the movies or in books, but never happen in real life...
"i feel it in my fingers. i feel it in my toes.. christmas is all around us, and so the feeling grows...."
this holiday season...
desires are revealed
secrets are exposed
and chances are finally taken
this holiday season...
all you need is love actually.
eeeee! on thursday night after the freshman dinner, camille, frances, wally, mark and i all watched love actually!! (it's amazing what people can get from file sharing nowadays... but shhhhhh... you didn't hear that from me.) but yeah... OMG! it was soooooo good! such good vibes after the movie! i just wanted to rush to an airport and greet someone, anyone, with a great big hug. i've never done that thing where you see someone and you're just so consumed with love that you run to them and jump them and hug the life out of them! i really wanted to do that after watching the movie... ah man! i need a man! it was sooooo sweet! so incredibly sweet! i think walter was freakin out though... i couldn't tell if he was trying to shield his eyes from the heartwarming relationship stuff or if he was getting emotional! ahahahaha... oh boys.
i thought the movie was soooo well done. love is soooo complicated sometimes. it touched on a lot of that w/ all the different subplots... amazing!
love rocks on
"christmas is the time to be with people you love" - billy mack
love is elementary
"she doesn't even know my name. And even if she did, she'd despise me. She's the coolest girl in school and everyone worships her because she's heaven." - Sam
love american style
"American girls would seriously dig me with my cute British accent" - Colin
love unspoken
"To me you are perfect." - Mark
love at work
"Do you think everybody knows?" - Sarah
love as a second language
"It's my favorite time of day, driving you." - Jamie
"It's the saddest part of my day, leaving you." - Aurelia
love lasts a lifetime
"True love lasts a lifetime." - Karen
love is awkward
"Normally i'm really shy about this sort of thing. Takes me ages to get the courage up." - John
love and politics
"I'm not really sure politics and dating go together..." - David, the Prime Minister
me and camille @ clark kerr... we give it two THUMBS UP!
What kind of sexy are you? Sweet 'n' Sexy You're not overt about your sexuality, but you're not purposely hiding it either — two traits that naturally draw people to you. You possess an understated zest for life, and a way of approaching the day with a can-do attitude that draws people to you. As a teenager, were you maybe a little on the quiet side? Even if you weren't, it's clear that underneath your occasionally understated statements, you have an undeniable sweetness that attracts people who see that special something burning from within.
Is it the way you carry yourself? That quiet sparkle in your eye? Those who know you intimately can't wait to uncover your sweetness. What's hiding behind that innocent smile? A little devil perhaps? A tattoo in a seductive spot saved only for your lover? Possibly, but you're so good, you'll never tell. Or will you?
but here's the thing... idk if it's really a B... it might be a B+! and that's even better... the only thing is that they didn't talk about +/- s at the beginning of the sem but a lot of people have been saying that it is. so idk... eek!
but yeah... chem's done. never again... never EVER again! it's all structural/physical things from now on! woo hoo...
*sigh* B in math (i hope!!!! oh please!!!) B (+?) in chem... B (+?) in Upper Div English <--what do you expect.. i'm battling w/ upperclass english studs!! i'm an engineer.. or at least i thought i was. =( i don't know what i am anymore!!! ah.. this is troubling!
B is for berkeley... *sigh*
i'll get 'em next sem! i promise i will!!! straight A's even in math 1b!!! straight As all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now i can concentrate on the important things... like my blog! JUST KIDDING!!!
anyway... yeah! sunday was kick-ass!!
60 second re-cap! get ready... set... go!
+PCN tryouts
+Noah's Bagels
+hip-hop "i've got that boom, boom"
+jazz? yeah! "he took my hand..." *whip* *attitude* *gran jete* *sike!*
+traditional (all 5 suites into one... we ARE maria clara! *pose*)
+FIRST YEAR Gathering!
+taking a load off in front of a big screen TV! yay... sit down and rest the feet!
+fake snow? hahaha... yes!
+a "cultural" dinner... haha... if you call "chicken joy" cultural
+a romantic dinner for 15 (or 13+2) ... a not-so-romantic evening for 2 unknown couples... sorry strangers, first years comin' through
+fresh air, good food, mini lights, clear sky, full moon, quiet atmosphere...
+personal stories (PROM!)
+downtown... XMAS TREE!!!!!! it's HUGE! go see...
+pictures and more pictures and more pictures!
+BIG BOOTY! haha.. no one got me out... neener, neener, neener!
+Da Brady Bunch: a department store adventure
+more pictures!!! way cute!
+josh's near fatal accident!
+chris rich's near fatal accident (again)
+my bruised ankle! grrrr...
+the question game --> concentration games
+CHURCH!
+sneeze attack!!!
+what? no donuts???? wah.....
+BIG GROUP HUG! awww... feel the love (and the germs)
+the Den
+La Burrita
+the incident w/ the burrito and the deffective brown paper bag
ah... the freshman gathering! good times with good people! no, incredible people...
(top l-r) josh . kevin . holly (#2)
diana . rita . holly . vaughn
mark . camille . chris (malixi) . chris (dacumot)
(bottom l-r) wally . nicky . rannel . jaelyn
special thanks to:
+ vaughn for organizing the event and making every moment fun-filled!
+ frances for making me go (but, in the end, not going herself)
+ camille for sticking around for the whole day... 8:30 am to 11:30 pm...
+ jaelyn for her excellent cinematography... material for SENIOR SHOW '06!!!
+ holly being the only other sternie around! yay! sternies!!
+ holly (#2) for making sure that kevin was never lonely...
+ kevin for making sure that holly (#2) was never lonely...
+ nicky for being a trooper and going... (and possibly getting my ill)
+ wally for his endearing story (truly heartfelt and yeah... we're with you man! we feel...)
+ mark for sending out that last email--really touching--and for encouraging me to go as well.
+ josh for dancing w/ me (BLAH!) and "taking care" of me on the way back and the near heart attack!
+ chris (dacumot) for the laughs and the bruise on my right ankle
+ chris (malixi) for a shoulder to sit on... haha! (put me down!)... and the tissues throughout mass
+ rannel for always being an uplifting spirit and a tall one at that... and for always being our bodyguard on the way back home...
girl: steph, vaughn, leo, laura, albert, rick, angie
boy: kevin (he says they are MOST definitely boys' pants), christina jisu kim! (she used deduction! <--smartie), roxanne ("girly" boy pants), ian (guys?), christian (homopalatin pants for men <--what's "homopalatin"?)
unisex: frances, rannel, mark l, kathleen, camille
i really think the weather has something to do with my mood. it's sunny in berkeley! i'm happy! less stressed! things are looking up... =)
my take on LOVE:
+ Love can never be so beautiful without friendship... one leads to another and the process is irreversible... the best of lovers are the greatest of friends.
+ When you love someone, don`t expect that person to love you back the same amount. One of you will be ahead, the other behind. It`s either you catch up or the other waits.
+ Never be afraid to fall in love. It may hurt a lot, it may give you aches and pains, but if you don`t follow your heart, in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance.
+ Love doesn`t have to have a happy ending, cuz love doesn`t have to end at all.
+ True love hears what is not spoken, and understands what is not explained, for love doesn`t work in the mouth, nor the mind, but in the heart...
+ When you love, you must not expect anything in return, for if you do, you`re not loving but investing, you must prepare to accept pain, for if you expect happiness, you`re not loving but using... It`s better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose that someone you love with your useless pride.
+ It`s hard for two people to love each other when they live in two different worlds... but when these two worlds collide and become one, that`s what you call.....magic!
+ Don`t love a person like a flower, cause a flower dies in the season. Love them like a river cause a river flows forever.
+ And finally.. in response to a few days ago: Love may leave your heart like a shattered glass, but keep in mind that there`s someone who`ll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces.
a friendster message from i dude i don't even know...
there’s something you didn’t really cover on there. are you a very affectionate woman who can put a lot of passion into your kisses and hugs? just wondering cuz it seems like some women are very comfortable with their sexuality and can express it very well, where as other women just can’t. nothing is better than a woman who knows herself, in and out. i’m sure you’ll agree that a man who possesses the same quality is desirable as well. this world would be great if we could all be free of all the bullshit we grew up with and just let loose wouldn’t it. anyways, you seem like you might make a worthwhile friend. write back with your email and I’ll add to you to my friendster. you should leave your number too. i’ve also got pics. hear from you soon rita.
chris
Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
Rose Walker, in Sandman: The Kindly Ones
raise your hand if you know that feeling??
*both hands up*
*start screaming into my pillow* ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *end*
Alicia Keys - Goodbye
How do you love someone
That hurts you oh so bad
With intentions good
Was all he ever had
But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Maybe love is a hopeless crime
Giving up what seems your lifetime
What went wrong with something once so good
How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye
I know now I was naive
Never knew where this would lead
And I'm not trying to take away
From the good man that he is
But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Was it something wrong that we did
Because others infiltrated
What went wrong with something once so good
How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye
Is this the end are you sure
How should you know when you've never been here before
It's so hard to just let go
When this is the one and only love I've ever known
So how do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye
lol... i'm a good self-therapist.
orlando ) ate. yup... normal, normal, normal.
truly humiliating. MY RIBCAGE EXPANDED! how does that happen?!? 
posted by Rita at 
) yeah.. we had an earthquake! i was just sitting here, kinda like i am now, and all of a sudden i'm moving! what! i was on the phone with peter at the time... hahaha... the earth moved. jk jk. had a quick lil chat with pk and then called lauren back. i was actually leaving her a voice message when pk called. well you see, i called him first, but he hadn't come in yet... but by the time he'd called me back i was leaving lauren a message and then i messed up the message cuz my phone was beeping and i was like "ah!" and i rejected the call and i think i ended the message with "shit."... sorry, lauren! but yeah... after i talked to peter, i called lauren back and left her a better message... it was still wacko though... hahaha... it's good to be on break!
... hehe. >> walked by People's Park. that was actually kinda sad. i think we should donate the "ultimate DC mission" prize to them guys. what do you think? >> going to gene's apt on haste to get the Danceworx video... he was lookin'... ummm... nice. 
>> eating at asian ghetto... yup! oh yeah >> i defrosted my frig... that was kinda fun actually. haha! i'm such a nerd...
this year?
What kind of sexy are you? Sweet 'n' Sexy
