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mmmm... good day thus far. must finish my 2 essays... but i'm cool with it.
lots to say... first off: new music! overjoyed - stevie wonder.. another fave. TFC! hahaha... jamie you know.
secondly: um. can't think of it right now. but i will later... lol. *muah* |
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navy blue boxers with yellow and white plaid lines...
*giggle*
take that however you like... i'm in too good of a mood to go into details right now.
remember: rita loves ya! |
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OMG!! freaky, shady business going on between berkeley and claremont...
this is not cool. and it is especially not cool when people hack into other people's sn's and pretend to be them and lead other people on! really uncool!
does privacy count for anything anymore??
i'm appalled! shame on you, whoever you are... and you better hope i never find out... cuz oowee! you're goin down! that's hella messed up! |
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... could they be more wrong?!?
Your Daily Horoscope for September 24, 2003
Dear RITA,
The primary focus today is likely to be on romance and marriage, RITA. Have you been thinking about getting married? If so, you could be surprised to learn that your significant other has been thinking the same way. This could be the end of a long period of uncertainty for you, and is apt to prove to be a very healing experience. Don't be surprised if people around you tell you how beautiful you look!
Best wishes for today, from the astrologers of Astrocenter.com
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OK! I'M MAD! So I'm trying to set up a new email account cuz I'm at 80% and I've already deleted uber-old emails *sniff*sniff*, and get this: SOMEONE ALREADY HAS THE EMAIL ADDRESS ritalovesyou@yahoo.com.. OMG! WHAT IS THAT!!! THAT'S MY SN! HUH?!? mucho perplexed! yeah.. not very happy about this.
ok. i know that's pretty minor in the whole scheme of things... but really, who else goes by ritalovesyou?? hmmmm? someone's stealing my thunder! grrrrrr... lol. but no one -- i repeat, no one -- can love you like i can. that's fasho. cuz babe... "my love is like.... woah" - mya
let this be known. *muah* |
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| COOL BEANS! I just found out I was in the Concord Transcript from Sept. 4th!! yay! GO ME! Scholars |
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thoughts for today:
+ my feelings for him haven't changed.
+ his feelings for me haven't changed either.
+ it's been a month
+ how long does it take to move on?
+ will i ever?
+ what's gonna happen when we ALL come back home for the holidays? eek!
+ will we all still be tight?
thoughts from last sept: This girl is always the one heart broken! I feel as if guys aren`t attracted to me for some reason or another. I found out today that the guy I`ve been falling for clearly doesn`t have any feelings for me except the feelings of friendship. In fact, he wants to date one of my friends so the whole liking him and still wanting to like him is out the door. =( I guess that I don`t have enough "sufficient attractiveness" for guys to even be interested in me. I would say that I`m just your average girl with your average looks. I`m not a girl to be spending all her time shopping and putting on makeup. Maybe I`ve just been in the same potential dating environment for so long that I just can`t find a guy anymore because they`re either my friends or I know way too much about them that I seriously wouldn`t want to date them.
I`m not searching for a soulmate or anything, but I would like to go on a date once in a while. Just to have those feelings of giddyness and anticipation! I haven`t actually really liked someone in so long. Maybe because my priorities have changed drastically. I use to be boy crazy and such, but now getting into college is all that is on my mind. Maybe when I my life isn`t so hectic with school and work, and my mother who said I couldn`t date until the age of 21 accepts that I`m growing up, then I`ll start dating. Maybe. Yeah right! I`ll probably still be sulking in that "what if" feeling or something equivalent to that...lol...Yeah...I`m that pathetic... |
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it's been a month...
26 Things That A Perfect Guy Would Do
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down. 
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
4. Give you the remote control during the game. <-- this never really came up
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
6. Play with your hair.
7. His hands always find yours.
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
11. Never run out of love.
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready. <-- never really came up
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.......... <-- did this happen? i don't remember.
16. Smile a lot.
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.
18. Appreciate you.
19. Help others out.
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching.
22. Sing, even if he can't.
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
24. Stare at you.
25. Call for no reason.
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just because he loves u that much to quit it. <-- no need
lauren, remember "grading"? hahahahahaha.. dammit. he was damned near-perfect. oh well, at least there's still room for better. if you qualify # 17, and 20, gimme a call. hehe...
officially missing you - tamia
[Verse One]
All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today I'm officially missing you
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today
I'm officially missing you
[Chorus]
Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I'm officially
[Verse Two]
All I do is lay around
Two ears full tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all
I don't know you at all
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say
That I'm officially missing you
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that's something I just can't do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can't find a way
To let go of you
[Chorus]
It official
You know that I'm missing you
Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
And I'm officially missing you |
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survey time: c/o "the ultimate ate" love ya tanya!
10 years ago, I...
1. I was a third grader @ St. Agnes School
2. I had two teachers Mrs. Schuler and Mrs. Dubnoff <--Mrs. Dubnoff made us the BEST chocolate-chip cookies EVER!
3. I was hooked on SNICK (clarissa explains it all, pete and pete, roundhouse, are you afraid of the dark?, etc...) and TGIF! and sadly... the power rangers.
4. I joined a sticker club! (hahaha.. you know you did, too!)
5. I was playing the piano and sorta enjoying it.
5 years ago, I...
1. I was 13. hahahah.. the beginning of my angst
2. In the 8th grade and doing EVERYTHING! being known by EVERYONE! getting WHATEVER i wanted!
3. I was boy crazy! (i know what you're thinking... rita? boy crazy? no way!... but yes, i was.) all the pseudo-boyfriends and real boyfriends and crushes and being crushed on. good times good times.
4. I was NOT getting involved in all the drama. ex: u like him, but i liked him first. nsync vs. backstreet. someone's A-list. the boy's top 10 list. party hook-ups. QAS/CTK/SF dance hook-ups. El Dorado hook-ups. hook-ups all over the place.
5. I was cheated out of student speaker @ graduation. sigh.. still kinda bitter (but HS made up for that)
2 years ago, I...
1. I was a Junior w/out a license till Feb.
2. I was dealing with 5 AP/honors courses along with Varsity Cheer and EVERYTHING else @ CHS.
3. I finally found my core group of friends.
4. I didn't really have my eye on any guys.. shocker, i know!
5. I was feelin hip-hop beats and Lifetime movies.
1 year ago, I...
1. I WAS A SENIOR!!!!!! yup yup. sportin the pink shirts that I designed!
2. I had a mad crush on josh. wow... a lot has changed since then, but we're cool.
3. I was freakin out over college apps and scholarship apps and financial aid apps.. applications everywhere!
4. I was still doing EVERYTHING and managing the hardest craziest schedule imaginable for a senior.
5. I moved into a new home.
This year, I...
1. I found out who my real friends were. I LOVE YOU! and I got to know a great guy on a totally new level.
2. I had a cotillion! it was wonderful!
3. I too the lead with lot of things (Varsity Cheer, Culture Shock, Kairos, etc.), was Valedictorian, got crowned Miss Hawaii-Pittsburg.
4. I had a summer job as a receptionist (newflash: a new one started today! weird.. that's like the 4th in 8 months.)
5. I started @ CAL!!!!!! and moved away from home (for the weekdays, at least)
Yesterday, I...
1. I was at home
2. I showered.
3. I went to church
4. I talked to Lauren and Becky and Peter.
5. I studied for my Math midterm and started thinking about my English/Religious Studies midterm essays (yes, plural.)
Today, I...
1. I got up @ 7
2. I ate breakfast in my room (didn't wanna have to walk to the DC).
3. I got a call from my mom @ 8:30
4. I sang in Chem Class... hahaha. Phil and I agree that Kubinec is an entertaining teacher, but where do the microwaves actually come from inside a microwave oven??? hmmm...
5. I got a friendster message from * (eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! if you wanna know who * is... ask, and maybe i'll tell ya! eeeeeeeeeeee!)
Tomorrow, I will...
1. I will clean my room.
2. I will attend the HALL ASS mtg.
3. I will go to classes as usual
4. I might catch some Gilmore Girls!!! yay! new season!
5. I will study by butt off for this Math 1A Midterm! yes! i will! |
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NO ON PROP 54
The Reality of Proposition 54
The Proponents of 54 say they want us to move towards a color-blind society. Well, we all want that - a society in which neither race, ethnicity, gender, nor any other trait determines how we're treated or what opportunities we have. In reality, this is the last
thing that Prop 54 will help us do.
Prop 54 would hamstring public institutions across the board, making it impossible for state, county, and local agencies to collect or use demographic data that is critical to effective management of government services, including critical services like health care, education, and law enforcement. Under Prop 54, wherever race or ethnicity is a factor, it would become difficult or impossible to recognize disparities, monitor progress, or tailor efforts towards populations being served. The result would be less efficient, less effective services, and in some cases, the elimination of programs that have been proven to be effective. For these reasons, a long list of health care organizations, public officials at every level, and civil rights organizations have denounced the measure - saying it's misguided, counter-productive, and dangerous.
The implicit logic of Prop 54 is that if we cannot see the challenges presented by the issue of race, then they will go away. The reality is that the challenges won't go away - we simply won't have the data to identify and address those challenges.
If it becomes law, Proposition 54 would:
Eliminate public health programs that save lives. Public health prevention resources are targeted by race because some health problems affect different races disproportionately, and because cultural differences make different prevention approaches more effective with different groups.
Undermine accountability in school reform. The California Public Schools Accountability Act of 1999 is the state’s central school reform program. It requires schools to set goals for student achievement and it demands accountability by instituting testing to measure achievement. Racial data is a central part of the evaluation process. It allows schools to determine whether some groups are improving more than others and it allows schools to target resources for the best overall improvement. Without this measurement data, school reform would be stripped of accountability.
Wipe out civil rights enforcement. Without racial data, victims of discrimination in
state employment or contracting won’t be able to address patterns of racial discrimination. This initiative makes discrimination protections impossible
to enforce.
Hinder law enforcement efforts. Hate crimes, racial profiling mitigation and community policing all rely on racial data of police officers, suspects and victims to carry out laws. Understanding and addressing hate crime patterns and racial profiling patterns are only possible if we have accurate information.
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a pic from today... TBA! the filipino first years that got there "early".. lol. we rock!
NO ON PROP 54!
"i am somebody, and i won't be stopped by nobody. I've got my fist in the air, rhythm in my feet, love for my people, and it starts with me!" |
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thoughts for today:
+ vivian has ORIGINAL NINTENDO in her room!!!! OMG! how cool!
+ going through some major relationship withdrawl... help.
+ boys cause drama.. girls prolong it.
+ bowlesmen are loud and profane and need not come to stern at midnight to shout obscenities and sing "i touch myself". ew.
+ drop it 'n pop it!
+ i could definitely use a massage right about now.
+ korean food is yummy! i like chopsticks...
+ VOTE NO ON PROP 54!!!
advice for today:
+ girl, don't get involved in other people's break-up drama...
+ you're a free man, jon. do what you want.
+ bowlesmen (wannabe frat boys), go f**k yourselves...
+ don't sniff 95% ethanol!
+ VOTE NO ON PROP 54!!!
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from may 2003:
10 THINGS I HATED ABOUT TODAY...
I hate the way I couldn't find
my AP student pack
I hate the way I he slowed me down...
I wasn't going that fast.
I hate the way my locker won't open.
I hate it when things fall.
I hate it when things can't be found,
and on the floor you'll see me sprawled.
I hate it when she butts in
lil miss thang, where are you here?
this is OUR time to relax today
what must i say to make it clear.
I hate the way you can ease
my problems with your touch.
I still can't believe it took so long
till you finally had a hunch.
I hate those secrets and inside jokes
that i never seem to get
I hate the way i'll turn around and
by a stuffed toucan my head gets hit.
I hate the way we plan and plot
but whatever, it's kinda fun.
don't mess with us
the axis powers, cuz we're lugubrious.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!! awesome. |
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What is this?? CHEER FOR RITA DAY?? did i miss something! lol....
i'm highly amused right now despite the symptoms that accompany illness and the major brain-crampage that accompanies midterms! aye-yi-yi... i need a break. i've been at it since noon!
case 1: so in chem today... we had a chem quiz (no kidding... lol) and i got it right! yay for me! and phil (who is sitting next to me, just as confused as i am) busts out with "who's got the beat"... for all you chs/dls-ers that MUST sound familiar... seeing as how the cheerleaders did that cheer like 100 times a game at the request of the crowd. damn the crowd! i hate that cheer... it is the single most annoying cheer ever created for the amusement of sports spectators! surely there is something more creative than slapping, clapping, and snapping... sheesh. anyways.. he was like
"who's got the beat. rita's got the beat. and it goes... (slapping, clapping, and snapping)"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... oh phil. hehe. but it does feel good to have him (the b-ball boy) cheering for me (the cheerleader chick) for once. oh, how nicely the tables have turned...
case 2: rick IMs me while I'm studying...
"EricDraven189: go rita go! gimme an R! R! Gimme an I! I! Gimme a T! T! Gimme an A! A! What's that spell?! RITA! Who's gonna dominate CAL?! RITA! Good luck with your studying Rita. Even though my cheer was pretty sad to a pro like you, I hope it gave you a smile or a laugh or something and I know you'll do well on chem! :-D bye for now!"
so you see... it must be cheer for rita day.. these things just don't happen everyday!
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a moment like this...
[talkin' to] josh
[listenin' to] Bloodstore - Natural High
yuck. i'm sick. my first illness of the year. i didn't expect it to soon. i haven't even been here for a month yet... gross... fevers suck. |
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so i'm supposed to sing this in june for a parish fundraiser/musical night... HOW APPROPRIATE!!!
I Enjoy Being a Girl
When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!
When men say I'm cute and funny
And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl,
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl!
I flip when a fellow sends me flowers,
I drool over dresses made of lace,
I talk on the telephone for hours
With a pound and a half of cream upon my face!
I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.
When men say I'm sweet as candy
As around in a dance we whirl,
It goes to my head like brandy,
I enjoy being a girl!
When someone with eyes that smoulder
Says he loves ev'ry silken curl
That falls on my iv'ry shoulder,
I enjoy being a girl!
When I hear the compliment'ry whistle
That greets my bikini by the sea,
I turn and I glower and I bristle,
But I happy to know the whistle's meant for me!
I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me |
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a haiku from my 'kuya' vin:
You dance for danceworx
Cooler than me already
Hella proud of you!
isn't that cool! no one's ever written me a haiku before... or a poem... not even peter. and he's what we would call the 'english stud'... i think i've only read a few haikus before and they didn't even come out of an english book or something. i think it was in crytponomicon (sp?).. yeah. never finished that book. just kinda skipped around to the non-war/non-techy stuff --> the "relationship" stuff.
there's always next summer. |
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hehe.. i got bored. (yeah, no kidding. lol) and so i checked out that googlism website and searched my name "rita". yup. funny start. here's what i found: *whatever's bolded is kinda true.. maybe. you tell me... did i miss anything?
rita is a retired brood mare horse resident at the dream
rita is sonic generator
rita is very raw
rita is a comedy play written by willy russell
rita is a social reject
rita is a lolita
rita is a vivacious and outgoing indonesian lady from jakarta
rita is a widow from indonesia
rita is a 29 year old retired brood mare
rita is big challenge for stagegraft
rita is waiting for her ride
rita is an immigrant from the land of the midnight sun
rita is painting
rita is 5 years old
rita is not designed to replace your it staff but to enhance their productivity
rita is bright red
rita is easy to teach; her essays and opinions become more and more advanced
rita is glad she was wrong
rita is the party girl and loves the life
rita is a woman
rita is the same age as lewis and lives in the same town
rita is in trouble
rita is a valuable addition to your existing condition and plant monitoring packages
rita is so well known
rita is her first feature length film
rita is predicted
rita is honored to be asked to serve the national league of cities and wimg
rita is the training development partner
rita is an accomplished artist who has shown her paintings and drawings throughout new england and new york
rita is known as a spirit artist
rita is a young wife working as a hairdresser in the early 1980’s
rita is a play written by willy russell in 1980 and made into a feature film starring michael caine and julie walters in 1983
rita is treated with contempt and derision by many of her new co
rita is one of the greatest woman actors ever
rita is street savvy cat who loves to sing
rita is only in the raf because she has a crush on andi
rita is forced into other identities
rita is a mother of two daughters and a grandmother of seven
rita is a psychologist with the national education psychology service
rita is on a quest for knowledge and culture
rita is now a shadow of her former self
rita is the english department receptionist and a source of general information for both students and faculty
rita is an arab
rita is a member of the poway real estate professionals
rita is designed to operate either as a standard collimated triple
rita is an associate of the financial planning association of australia and is also a member of both the institute of chartered accountants and the tax
rita is 51
rita is on her way to completing a qualification in stage 3 mathematics thanks to the support received through middlesbrough adult education service ? and
rita is also the powerful democratic committeeman of vote
rita is also a member of the general staff for independent edge
rita is still weak and does not eat well
rita is president and co
rita is a woman dissatisfied with her life and where it is going
rita is wearing the crown 212 open bottom girdle
rita is a graduate of the berkeley psychic institute
rita is small
rita is a real estate agent that is known in the community of keene for their dedicated client service
rita is unselfish
rita is a northern arizona educator and community activist
rita is currently playing drums with bad sign
rita is endangered not only by her doctors' slavish devotion to psychiatric dogma
rita is a loving wife to jerry
rita is now in her seventh year of practice
rita is an exception
rita is the coordinator and webmaster for the free access oconto county wigenweb project
rita is rushed to hospital
rita is designed to be as close as possible to reality
rita is a loving wife
rita is co
rita is this
rita is
rita is a realtor who is nationally known for her innovative marketing of evergreen's most significant real estate
rita is a widow with one daughter
rita is one of the most honest songwriters on the scene and draws her songs from personal experiences
rita is israel's leading singer today
rita is of someone of energy
rita is a curious film
rita is a nationally recognized speaker
rita is also proud of her five years as a news editor for the mutual broadcasting system and nbc radio news
rita is good at math
rita is 67
rita is a qualified solicitor and is the most senior member of the team with ten years post
rita is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to conduct collaborative r&d in the field of rotorcraft technology
rita is caught during transit from beirut via east berlin with a pistol and comes to an understanding with stasi officer erwin hull
rita is an industrial engineering senior at wayne state university
rita is destined for stardom having seduced the director adam kesher
rita is definitely and self
rita is right
rita is an equine that lives at the dream catcher farm horse sanctuary
rita is often called upon to provide educational assistance
rita is a vocalist
rita is a school in cincinnati
rita is a mother of two daughters and a grandmother of seven
rita is just 18
rita is well positioned (ummm... what exactly does that mean?) |
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Tonight after Danceworks (eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!) I went to the 9/11 vigil. It was absolutely beautiful.. this is the community @ Cal I've become a part of and I can't wait to get more of it. There were many speakers from different organizations on campus and the former major of Berkeley spoke, too. The Golden Overtones and the Men's Octet sang well also. more on this later... must shower. oh, so as i'm walking up back to stern hall there's this dude in front of me.. and eventually i catch up with him cuz i walk a lil faster and he asks if i'm going to foothill and i say, "no, i'm in stern". and we start talking.. he's a cool dude. david (hmmmmm lauren.. there's a conspiracy of 'dave's) is a 2nd year and an exchange student from England. super funny and easy to talk to. classics major... and that is hecka tight cuz i love that greek/latin philosophy/ancient culture/literary stuff. yup. oh and the accent! it's too cute! i love a man with an accent... eeeeee! he was telling me how he's not used to this weather.. it's just too hot, i agree. and tuesday's rain WASN'T really rain at all... like a mini-drizzle/haze/fog... yeah. weather here has been really trippy lately... anyways. idk, maybe i'll see him again in the dining commons or not. it's a big unit. *sidenote: in the last 4 weeks or so, i've shaken SOOOO many hands! it's weird... it's like the adult thing to do. we never did this in high school and now all of a sudden whenever i meet someone i automatically extend my hand and introduce myself! hehe... whatever.
The Golden Overtones sang "And So It Goes" by Billy Joel... good song! (*ahem* so it goes! <--- hey, doesn't this sound familiar... hmmmmm??? lol *ahem*
In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along
I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense
And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose
But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break
And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
The Men's Octet sang "That Lonesome Road" by James Taylor
Walk down that lonesome road
All by yourself
Don't turn your head
Back over your shoulder
And only stop to rest yourself
When the silver moon
Is shining high above the trees
If I had stopped to listen once or twice
If I had closed my mouth and opened my eyes
If I had cooled my head and warmed my heart
I'd not be on this road tonight
Carry on
Never mind feeling sorry for yourself
It doesn't save you from your troubled mind
Walk down that lonesome road
all by yourself
Don't turn your head
Back over your shoulder
And only stop to rest yourself
when the silver moon
Is shining high above the trees |
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VOTE NO ON PROP 54!
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lol.. how come tanya is the only one who comments on my blog??? hehe. love you 'super-duper ate'...
thought for today: compliments of Zac, my chemistry GSI (graduate student instructor)
"What if the hokey pokey really IS what it's all about?" |
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OH MAN! this song rocks! i love the rock beats and the passion in her voice!
going under - evanesence
now i will tell you what i've done for you
50 thousand tears i've cried
screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
and you still won't hear me
don't want your hand this time i'll save myself
maybe i'll wake up for once
not tormented daily defeated by you
just when i thought i'd reached the bottom
i'm dying again
i'm going under
drowning in you
i'm falling forever
i've got to break through
i'm going under
blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
so i don't know what's real and what's not
always confusing the thoughts in my head
so i can't trust myself anymore
i'm dying again
i'm going under
drowning in you
i'm falling forever
i've got to break through
so go on and scream
scream at me i'm so far away
i won't be broken again
i've got to breathe i can't keep going under
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making this new blog only took 20 minutes!!!! woo hoo... i'm a pro! yay... just in time for class. peace out homies!
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aw man! remember the good 'ol days.. miss you all.
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The following were uncovered during an afternoon trip along telegraph not too long ago. I just thought these poems were too beautiful.. *tear*tear* *long siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* another thing to add onto my list of must-haves in my guy: must be able to convey emotion through some artistic outlet.. write me.. write about me.. sing to me.. sing about me.. draw me.. draw about me.. sigh. how i long for sweet words again...
Love - Pablo Neruda
Because of you, in gardens of blossoming flowers I ache from the perfumes of spring.
I have forgotten your face, I no longer remember your hands; how did your lips feel on mine?
Because of you, I love the white statues drowsing in the parks, the white statues that have neither voice nor sight.
I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice; I have forgotten your eyes.
Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to my vague memory of you. I live with pain that is like a wound; if you touch me, you will do me irreparable harm.
Your caresses enfold me, like climbing vines on melancholy walls.
I have forgotten your love, yet I seem to glimpse you in every window.
Because of you, the heady perfumes of summer pain me; because of you, I again seek out the signs that precipitate desires: shooting stars, falling objects.
XX - Pablo Neruda
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.
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so... still no word from my 'kuya'... dude, hurry up! i gotta buy my 'CRAZY, SEXY, sChOOL' tickets!!! $3 instead of $5. man, that's a $2 discount. we'll see what happens tomorrow... *waiting impatiently*
btw, ernesto is the dude in the third column, director for the kuya/ate/ading program... hey ernesto, tell my kuya to CALL!!! he's not doing his job...
also tomorrow (b/c noah just called me and it's hard for me to say 'no' when i kinda sorta know the person....). pass is really cool too!
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i talked to ernesto today (he wanted to kill me off in 'mafia' btw. selfish doctor stupid ninja guy! lol) and he said i have a kuya! woah! what's up with that.. i wanted a 'ate'---a girl! so we could do girly talk: shoes. boys. makeup. boys. feminine things. boys. school. boys. you get the drift... oh well, we'll see what's up with this 'kuya'.
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Disease - Matchbox Twenty
Feels like you made a mistake
You made somebody's heart break
Now I have to let you go
I have to let you go
You left a stain
On everyone of my good days
I am stronger than you know
I have to let you go
No one's ever turned you over
No one's tried to ever let you down
Beautiful girl
Bless your heart
I've got a disease deep inside me
makes me feel uneasy
I can't live without you
Tell me what am I supposed to do about it?
Keep your distance from me
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
Feels like you're making a mess
You're wearing heels and a black dress
You drove me to the fire
And left me there to burn
Every little thing you do is tragic
All my life, all was magic
Beautiful girl
I can't breathe
I got a disease deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy
I can't live without you
Tell me what am I supposed to do about it?
Keep your distance from me
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
Yeah well I think that I'm sick
Believe me my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey?
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself that it won't take long to
Set me free of my disease
Set me free of my disease
Set me free of my disease
I got a disease deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy
I can't live without you
Tell me what am I supposed to do about it?
Keep your distance from me
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
Yeah well I think that I'm sick
Believe me my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey?
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself that it won't take long till
I'm free of my disease
I'm free of my disease
Set me free of my disease
The Remedy (I Won't Worry) - Jason Mraz
I saw fireworks from the freeway and behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away
Cause you were born on the fourth of july, freedom ring
now something on the surface it stings
that something on the surface it kind of makes me nervous who says that you deserve this
and what kind of god would serve this? We will cure this dirty old disease
if you've got the poison I've got the remedy
the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.
I heard two men talking on the radio in a cross fire kind of new reality show
Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack
they were counting down the days to stab the brother in the be right back after this
the unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh death breath is sure to outlast his catastrophe
dance with me, because if you've got the poison, I've got the remedy
the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.
When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why
Because
the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't and I won't and I won't... |
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thoughts from sunday:
+6:30 is too early to wake up on a sunday morning.
+no traffic on sunday morning.
+gas prices have SKY ROCKETED!!!! OMG! $2.39 for premium. that's robbery!
+California Buffet in Sunnyvale is awesome. good eats. good company. good times.
+driving for an hour is tiring.
+driving back home is tiring.
+tiring driving causes backaches, neckaches, and headaches.
+sleep cures this!
+The fog rolls in around 8
+One and a 1/2 turns for warm water. 2 turns for scalding hot water... big mistake.
+shampoo stings in your eyes.
+Night shuttles are unreliable.
+Piggy back rides are essential when you walk through muddy terrain in flipflops.. what a rush!
+10pm services are awesome!!!! wow. i loved it.
+it's best to forget quickly. put away all remnants... do not IM first, will look desperate... remember who broke up with who! and why! ugh... this is very hard! fighting temptation!
+feeling a repeat coming on: i'm sick and tired of my emotions being messed with and manipulated from all areas!!!
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THIS IS TOO COOL! you must try..
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OMG!! i'm getting super busy now... eek! what am i getting myself into.. lol. naw. it's all g.
check this out: Democratic-Education @ CaL. i must take one of these classes.. idk, shakespeare, middle earth, tupac, friends, sports, OMG! there's too many cool classes. too bad the matrix one is full. i've never seen either movie all the way through. it gets mucho confusing.. and perhaps, in one semester, i could get it down. lol. or not. maybe in the spring...
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last september 6th: rita said "I'm depressed... nuff said"
today: rita says "i'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not depressed"
LOL. good good day. good good week actually. great week even. but i gtg. lots to say, so little time. FROSH/SOPH PAA dinner/social/gathering tonight... watch out, boys, i'm on the prowl... jk jk!!!!!!! JK!
quick recap from thursday till, well, now:
Thursday:
+8 am chem lab. simple!
+12:30 pm math discussion. aight...
+3:30 pm english lecture. SO ENTERTAINING! SO INTERESTING! lovin' it!
+5:00 pm chill session in rm 418
+6:30 pm PAA mtg... VMA's PAA style (see below) gooooooooooooooooooooood times! freals. shall go indepth about this later...
+10:00 pm chill session in rm 418
Friday:
+midnight! BOWLESMEN MOONLIGHT SERENADE! or not. more like drinking songs... oh well
+9 am chem lecture. lots to say later...
+10 am chem lecture. more to say, too.
+lunch was yummy!
+1:30 pm pick-up
+2:00 pm @ CHS!!!! wow.. old school looks hella nice now. talked to teachers.. will go into detail later.
+6:30 pm to frisco (SFO)
Saturday:
+9 am danceworx try-outs!!!!!!! hella people trying out for (at the most 45) spots...but probably 30
+another yummy lunch
+CAL game against Colorado State... to quote an angry fan at the end of the game "f*#k you, CSU!". this became a chant which became a mini-brawl... lol. needless to say, we lost. by only 2!!!!! stupid field goal. whatever. we still have the BEST student section in THE WORLD! yup yup.. and i was part of it... so much FUN!
aight... gtg. this should be nice. isang mahal... (one love)... laterz |
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tonight. |
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aw man.. it feels so good to slip back into "david gray" music mode. it's all too perfect! oh wow. idk, it just brings me to a happy place. where things are all ok. where i'm so content. where all the shit that's gone down doesn't matter anymore. there's just something about it that eases my heavy heart. it's so weird to try to describe, and i honestly don't think i can...
like memories just surge back to me. memories of blog hijinks. of me singing into my mirror. of looking throgh pictures and reading little notes and letters. of me lying in my bed chattin on the phone (texting on the phone). of kairos. of the ride home from senior ball. of after senior ball taking out a gajillion bobby pins out of my hair with lauren. of the day after senior ball just hangin around my room before practice and having my legs fall asleep as they dangled off the edge of the bed. of late night driving. of speeding down 680 - 24 - 242 to make curfew. of days when we all just chilled on the chs lawn or dls inner quad. of my cotillion. of graduation. of grad night. of parties. of 1 PM "lunches". of just laying in the summer grass with someone you care about not saying anything, but just knowing that this moment and all other moments leading up to it were beautiful and wonderful and yours forever.
no one can ever take that away--that warm feeling that makes everything right. or at least the memories that make you feel that way even if they are now distant and not applicable... it doesn't matter. please, no one bring me down.
oh dear.. if a guy wrote me a song like this.. i'd be his FOREVER! (maybe...) lol.
BE MINE - David Gray
From the very first moment I saw you
That's when I knew
All the dreams I held in my heart
Had suddenly come true
Knock me over stone cold sober
Not a thing I could say or do
'Cos baby when I'm walking with you now
My eyes are so wide
Like you reached right into my head
And turned on the light inside
Turning on the light
Inside my mind hey
Come on baby it's all right
Sunday Monday day or night
Written blue on white it's plain to see
That rainy shiny night or day
What's the difference anyway
Baby till your heart belongs to me
If I had some influence girl
With the powers that be
I'd have them fire that arrow at you
Like they fired it right at me
And maybe when your heart and soul are burning
You might see
That everytime I'm talking with you
It's always over too soon
That everyday feels so incomplete
Till you walk into the room
Say the word now girl
I'll jump that moon hey
Come on baby it's ok
Rainy shiny night or day
There's nothing in the way now
Don't you see
Winter summer day or night
Centigrade or fahrenheit
Baby till your heart belongs to me
Thursday Friday short or long
When you got a love so strong
How can it be wrong now mercy me
Jumpin' Jesus holy cow !
What's the difference anyhow
Baby till your heart belongs to me |
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| Prof. Dean subbed for Prof. Wu today.. still highly entertaining class! simply "maaaaaaaavelous". i love accents! must find me a boy with an accent... girls, you know! |
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Fighting Temptation - Beyonce f/ Free, MC Lyte, Missy Elliot
[Intro]
[Beyonce Sings]
Fighting Temptation
[Missy Says]
Yo Beyonce, Free, Mc Lyte y'all ready
Let it put it down for da clubs
[all four]
Ladies! (yeah) We got dat beat dat make you jump
To my fellas! (whoo)! I'll got them cars them ladies love
Party People! (yeah) We gonna party all night
And let yo soul, work! (ooo!) And let yo soul keep on workin out
[First verse: Missy]
I'm the type of chick who be fightin' temptation
Make you wait before we have a relation
Playboy holla at me lata'
Don't you know I'm managed by violator (yeah!)
(they shootin') I'm exterminator
I look good so hate me hater
Me and my girls drinkin', where's the waiter
Cheatin' guys I already played ya
Ladies night don't sufficate us
If you touch us we gonna altercation
Warn Missy you's impersonator
I got so much ice I even scare Jacob
[all four]
Beyonce, Mc Lyte, and Free
Missy Put it down on da beat
[Missy]
Party people it's good sensation
We gonna show you how to fight temptation
[Chorus: Beyonce]
I'm just fighting temptation (yeah)
Gotta get more control (control, yeah)
Yet it's very tempting when you ask to take me home (home)
I know you want my love (love)
I don't think the time is right (no)
Call when I'm ready, but it won't be tonight
[Second verse: Free]
We in da club Free gully no doubt
See this real deal playa starin' dead in my mouth
He got his crew, but I got mine to
Send a note to my table like (what you gonna do)
Eye game got him spreadin' me out
In my ear dry tears how he left his spouse
And oh, the nice cars and impressive house
He want to run up in I ain't no regular route (hhoooo!)
Me and the girls we ain't stressin' out
We ain't birds we ain't headin' south (nnnoooo)!
Them one nighters that's sad and doubt
That little talk on da creep what you said is out
I gets cheddar, to help me do what ever, no beef with Dennis Hedwards but i
fight temptation
I'm not sayin' I don't like temptation
I'm just lookin' for da right temptation, ya kno'
[Chorus: Beyonce]
I'm just fighting temptation (Fighting temptation)
Gotta get more control (control, yeah)
Yet it's very tempting when you ask to take me home (yeah yeah)
I know you want my love (yeah yeah yeah)
I don't think the time is right (ooohh!)
Call when I'm ready, but it won't be tonight
[Third verse: Mc Lyte]
Yeah, party liked I neva partied before
I hit the door all the dudes hit the floor
Sweet, they messin' wit da brown sugar queen
Fightin' Temptation like Layla Ali wit da 1, 2
Let me show you wat da hon' do, when i come through wit da butta dip crew
Now show me dat you got my back, love me from where you at
I got eyes up over my shoulder, if you should decide to get closer (hhooo!)
Well then this dance is straight over, I'm gone and Missy testaroasa
'Be cool' dat wat Free say
B say 'keep it clean but give them lee way'
All I know it's a crazy sensation
You fine but I'm fightin' temptation
[Chorus: Beyonce]
I'm just fighting temptation (oohhh)
Gotta get more control (woooooo, ooohh)
Yet it's very tempting when you ask to take me home (woooo)
I know you want my love (my love)
I don't think the time is right (yeah)
Call when I'm ready, but it won't be tonight (yeah yeah yeah)
[Beyonce]
wooooooo
[Missy]
We goin' show you how to fight temptation
[Beyonce & Free at the same time]
Beyonce: My love, yeah
Free: I'm jus' lookin for da right temptation
[Beyonce]
wooooo
[Beyonce & Missy at the same time]
Beyonce: yeah, yeah, yeah
Missy: We goin' show you how to fight temptation
[Free]
I'm jus' lookin for da right temptation
[Beyonce]
yeah, yeah, yeah
woooooo
[all four: repeat 3X]
w-w-what you gonna do
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so.. i've been at CAL for like 2 weeks now, and i've barely blogged about it! lol...
here goes my 2 week wrap-up:
move-in day: it was so hectic, but really cool to move all my stuff to berkeley. makes ya feel all independent and adult-like to have your own frig and microwave and a closet away from home... it's TIGHT! yeah... since then Na Ri (my roomie) and I have made some major readjustments to the furniture set-up. when we moved in we had the drawers and the bookshelfs in the middle of the room (kinda like an island you'd see in your kitchen) but we moved them yesterday so now we have floor room! yay! just need an area rug and it's all good. oh, and a tv. we need a tv. phil's got a 27" tv in his suite! man! i'm gonna visit there often i think! idk.. for 4 guys, it's pretty clean. and ya.. he's got so much dls paraphanalia (sp?) there. it's cute! lol... anyways.. back to out new floor space. this means vacuuming more regularly, which = more work. oh well.. that comes with adulthood. WORK. *tired sigh*
welcome week: welcome week was fun! i met sooooo many people, but i don't think I remember all their names... sorry. but i remember their faces for the most part. yeah.. there are soooo many people at cal. it's weird not knowing EVERYONE. but it's kinda cool to walk around among all these intellectuals that are all motivated and stuff (hopefully not motivated to see my own downfall...). it's cool to just walk around campus, down sproul plaza, past all the people with flyers and tables and sign-up sheets, past the comedians and musicians and singers... it's tight. it's like a tiny city within a city. mr. hodges said that i walk like i'm on an urgent mission... is that a good thing or a bad thing? anyway... students walk so quickly here.. tryin to get from class to class or to a club or a meeting or to the DC or the dorms or wherever... and then there are the people taking naps or reading on memorial glade or in the shady bench spots... (takes me back to my lazy days of summer. sigh. but that's a whole other subject.) occassionally i'll see a frisbee in the air or a dog running around unleashed. it's cool. very cool.
all the activities were fun too.. trips to target. hiking up to the Big C (fyi: stretch your leg muscles first!!!!). game nights (CRANIUM!). walking back and forth and back and forth from the student store and ned's. (book buying wasn't all that bad, either. yay!) hall meetings. roomie programs. movie nights (office space... hahahahahaha... "someone's gotta case of the Monday's" oooo and Michael Bolton! good times!). ice cream socials w/ the Bowlesmen! (and the really really really [maybe minus that last 'really'] cute Irish rugby player majoring in english or philosophy or econ that all the girls flock too... haha, his friends stick real close to him to get in with the girls too... they're like his bodyguards! funny stuff. boys. go figure.) calapalooza (like a MEGA club carnival!) caltopia (free stuff! every college kids dream!) there are sooooooo many ways to get involved, and i wanna do soooooo much. but i don't think i have the time. oh well.... so it goes. there's always next sem. and the sem after that and the sem after that and so on and so forth... till June 2007! and i'm outta here!
oh yeah.. the College of Engineering orientation... get this: so the dean of the college welcomes us and says all the those great and wonderful things about our class.. how we're the strongest group yet.. how they know we'll succeed.. how they'll help us get where we wanna get.. and all that happy stuff. they tell us that even though we might've already declared ourselves in a certain major that we should diversify our experience here.. take classes that don't necessarily apply to our major if it's something we wanna try... hey, at least they're encouraging breadth! but yeah.. they we broke up into our academic advising session which was cool. i met up with anthony and brian and erik from CalSo.. we were all choppin' it up.. talkin and catchin up.. good times! but the thing is that our adviser says that we SHOULD NOT take classes that don't apply to our grad requirements cuz they want up out of here in 8 semesters!!!! hahahahahaha.. now that we're here, they can't wait to get rid of us!!!!!!!!! what a warm welcome to CAL! lol.. but we understand. it's aight. you've gotta share this academic wealth with the next batch of students... it's cool. after that there were tours... jordan and I went on it. the tour was in 3 parts... they got progressively better, i'd say. it's awesome to see these engineering principles applied to actual day-to-day things... i'm excited! thinking of lookin into a research project.. helpin out a professor or grad student... but again, that's work! lots of it! we'll see...
classes: so i'm only taking 13 units this sem. 3 three 4-unit courses (chem 1a, math 1a, eng C107/relig st C119) and one seminar (CE 92 or intro to civil engineering)... the first week was kinda rough.. getting used to walkin around to classes not confined to one rectangular building. figuring out what to do with the 1/2 hour or 1 hour or 1 1/2 hour chunks of time between classes. but all in all.. academics is going fine. i'm pretty much all caught up with where i need to be. THERE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH READING!!!!!!! i can't believe it! and i've got midterms coming up in 2 weeks... fun fun. can't wait for those! *grin* NOT! my professors are pretty nice, i think. i should drop in during their office hours one of these days... but that requires a hell of a lot more walking on my part.. but i will. i have to! wow... you've gotta be sooo self-motivated! no one tells you what to do or where to go or when to go... it's all up to you. maybe that's why i'm so tired. maybe i'm just lazy... *snap outta it!*
passed the first 3 chem quizzes with flying colors!!! yay! the whole online test taking is pretty freaky... it makes me so nervous! idk why? but i'm doing alright so far. phew.
i've got my first calc quiz on thursday. can't wait for that! ugh.. our GSI makes no sense! like today.. i left the class soooo confused. delta this and epsilon that! where was this coming from? i know we were talking about limits and behaviors of curves and stuff like that.. but then he threw in something soooo random. everyone around me was sooo puzzled! and then when we were going over answers.. he didn't even know the solution! what's up with that! we had to correct him like 5 or 6 times before he finally figured out what 1/2 the class already knew! woah....
on a much happier note: Wu reminds me of Gomes! like the way they talk.. it's so cute. i think Gomes was the best math teacher i had.. mr. guthrie from dls was really good, too.. but he's been pushed farther back in my memory so Gomes wins.. yeah. actually.. maybe mrs. newsom is 2nd. (side note: i saw marie newsom walk by this afternoon. she's got a cute haircut) mrs. newsom was soooo patient and considerate of us.. some kids treated her like shit *cough*nick campbell*cough*. and then there were kids like mike fink who would just get up out of his seat and talk to her at the front of the classroom about a problem! lol... highly entertaining class... oooo. and the boxers! (lol, lauren knows what i'm talkin about! go ducks!).... but yeah, back to Wu. he's really cool. he can't work techy things either.. like, on friday, he was trying to work a projector/transmitter and he couldn't do it.. so the tech person up in the booth had to do it for him, and while SHE was workin on it he was telling us how some teachers like to use power point presentations. and he says "oh, you don't have to worry about that. i'll be dead before i figure out power point".. and at that, the WHOLE auditorium busts out laughing!!! it's great!
the intro to CE seminar seems really low key. i've just gotta show up for the most part. different CE professors are supposed to come in and talk to us about what they do and answer our questions... kinda help us figure out where we want to specialize. yup. we'll see how this goes... (note to self: register for ASCE! need extra credit!)
my "English Bible as Literature" course is really interesting too.. and it's upper division! kinda scary! kinda thrilling! there are adults in there as students, too... these people could've been my high school teachers! weird! but prof. goldsmith is extremely witty and insightful and just chalk-full of knowledge on the Bible and biblical times and history and language.. it's really nice to have a teacher that can bring all of that together! i've made friends in all my classes so far. there's a group of asian kids in this one though that crack me up everyday. really friendly bunch. they all live off campus. i hope i make tight friends like that here...
friends: GO STERNIES!!! i think i know like all the girls on my floor.. yay! they're cool. we do dinner or lunch or whatever... have study sessions.. watch the VMAs (OMG! brit and madonna.. yuck!).. eat each other's food. it's great! but it's pretty quiet... everyone's good about schoolwork. helps keep me on task too. in general, stern hall is pretty quiet (except for second floor new wing! hahahahahaha.. oh girls! they party all night.. lol. good times.) i think i'll like it here.
it's nice to keep in touch with the dls guys. i have chem with phil and mike. intro to ce with jordan. haven't seen tony AT ALL.. oh well. we've kinda lost tough anyway. i see jordan on occassion at the DC with patrick (one of his roomie). we'll talk and catch up on stuff.. usually it's me asking what the hw was or how the lab went or if he's going home for the weekend... i've met phil for dinner a few times, talked after chem class, met his roomie (carlo.. he's from croatia.. and he's 6'9".. oh wow!), admired his big tv! lol... yeah. i really do hope to further our friendships.. and if the way things are going in the first few weeks are any indication of the rest of the year.. things are lookin good! but i don't see danielle or kathleen that often. i have chem with danielle, but i can't really find her half the time. phil and mike are a tad easier cuz they're tall... i'll look harder tomorrow.
peter from CalSo is in my chem class, too.. he says i make him sleepy cuz i yawn in class sometimes! geez... it's not like i can help it! so i say.. "quit paying attention to me then! and focus on the lecture!" lol... he's an interesting character. he's always got something to say about the prof. or the concepts being covered... usually something kinda sarcastic. oh well. whatchagonnado... at least i won't fall asleep.
so yeah.. that's all i can think of for now... once i get this week outta the way, i'll have more to say.
oh wait! HALL ASS... hall association. Dorie and I are running for co-presidents! too bad, last year's pres. decided to put her name in the running at the last minute!!!!!!!!! geez!!!!!!!!!! way to ruin my day! we're the only position being contested too! ugh.. i hope we win. cuz that's just embarassing! man.... our speech could've been way better. now i've gotta work my ass of campaigning! oh well... life is work.
WHY???!!!!??? why can life be easy, man? i'm cool with easy. but in a way, if it's easy, it kinda doesn't feel right. idk... idk what the heck i'm thinking about life right now.. except that some LIFE cereal sounds mighty tasty! oh yeah.. dorm food. let's say that salads are your best bet.. oh, that, and the fruit. thank goodness for ice cream, too! the campus restaurants are better... got my tuesday/thursday smoothie w/ chicken strips and fries lunch routine down! 2 swipes and $1.24... or 3 swipes but i'll but a snack item too for late night study sessions... yup. i'll survive on this stuff... Clark Kerr Campus has really good eats, too... and Crossroads is nice b/c of the variety. haven't tried DC3 or the other campus restaurants.. but hey, we're only in week 2... 28 more to go till summer!!!!! yay!
ok... must get back to my "what are my goals for a CEE education" paragraph... or something like that... |
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Damaged - TLC
I know I'm kinda strange, to you sometimes
Don't always say, what's on my mind
You know that I've been hurt, by some guy
But I don't wanna mess up this time
And I really really really care
And I really really really want you
And I think I'm kinda scared
Cos I don't want to lose you
If you really really really care
Then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It's nothing to you
My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know that
I've been damaged
I'm falling in love
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that I've been damaged
I might look through your stuff, for what I don't wanna find
Or I might just set you up, to see if you're all mine
I'm a little paranoid, from what I've been through
Don't know what you got yourself into
And I really really really care (And I care about you so much)
And I really really really want you (I really do want you)
And I think I'm kinda scared (But I'm scared with every touch)
Cos I don't want to lose you (Cos I don't want to lose you)
If you really really really care (If you care for me like you say)
Then maybe you can hang through (Then maybe you can hang through)
I hope you understand (I hope you understand)
It's nothing to you (It's nothing to you, you)
My heart's at a low (low)
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know that (I think you should know)
I've been damaged
I'm falling in love (I'm falling in love)
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that I've been damaged (I think you should know that)
My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage (I'm so much to manage)
I think you should know that (I think you should know that)
I've been damaged (I've been damaged)
I'm falling in love (I love you so)
There's one disadvantage (I love you so)
I think you should know that I've been damaged
And I really really really want you
And I think I'm kinda scared
Cos I don't want to lose you
If you really really really care
Then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It's nothing to you (It's nothing to you)
My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know that (Ooh I think you should know I've been damaged)
I've been damaged (I've been damaged baby)
I'm falling in love (Falling in love with you baby, yeah)
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that I've been damaged
My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know that
I've been damaged
I'm falling in love
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that I've been damaged
Say Yes - Floetry
See I've been watching you for a while your smile and stuff
and I don't know if I can be with you for tonight alright,
is that alright baby, baby
There is only one for me
You have made that a possibility
We could take that step to see, ohh
If this is really gonna be
All you gotta do is say yes
All you gotta do is say yes
Don't deny what you feel let me undress you baby
Open up your mind and just rest
I'm about to let you know you make me so
All you gotta do is say yes
Don't deny what you feel let me undress you baby
Open up your mind and just rest
I'm about to let you know you make me so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,
You make me so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so
Loving you has taken time, taken time
But I always knew you could be mine
I recognize the butterflies inside me
Sex is gonna be made tonight, tonight
All you gotta do is say yes
All you gotta do is say yes
Don't deny what you feel let me undress you baby
Open up your mind and just rest
I'm about to let you know you make me so
All you gotta do is say yes
Don't deny what you feel let me undress you baby
Open up your mind and just rest
I'm about to let you know you make me so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,
You make me so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so |
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so.. i've been home all weekend.. and still, i haven't seen anyone. what a waste. i didn't even see the rojo's.. and i always see the rojo's. weird. anyways... had lunch with the fam and the relatives today at buffet fortuna.. we always go there. good eats. lots of eats. all-you-can-eat eats... i'm stuffed. my stomach isn't used to eating so much after 2 weeks of dorm food. ah, dorm food. can't say i missed that. anyways.. lauren and peter are getting all settled @ their respective colleges this weekend. i've talked to lauren lots.. kinda feels like she's still around. thank goodness for cell phones and aim and email! but peter.. where the heck is he? phone tag and email tag and AIM tag... i'm tired of being the chaser! your turn, man. you're it!
anyways.. i'm leaving for good 'ol berkeley in a few. 8 o'clock candidate meeting... fun fun. too bad my running mate's gonna be late.. ugh.. i wonder if she'll still be allowed to run?? aw man! please let her run! i don't wanna go solo.. yet.
ok. hw's mostly done. just stuff that's due wed. and thurs. online... i'm all caught up with reading! yay!
geez.. i've already got midterms in like 3 weeks! boo!
let's see.. i need $. must find a job. hopefully the internship @ the office of the president w/ pres. primm pays... off. lol. j/k. pays. lol... aw man! I NEED A MAN! <-- look familiar.. betcha haven't seen that line on here for awhile! *sigh* |
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posted by Rita at 
