these are my confessions

Sunday, May 23, 2004

hey!

it's my first day of summer!!!!!

and......

it's my birthday! yeyuh...

update TBA.

posted by Rita at 2:27 PM - 0 comments

Friday, May 21, 2004

posted by Rita at 2:25 PM - 0 comments

Monday, May 17, 2004

thanks to chris (luv you babe), chris juan, fred, natalie, mark l, and everyone else for your words of encouragement. it means a lot.

i'm trying so hard to "handle it". to stay "on top" of things (ha! yah right...). to do well in my classes.... i'm doing my best.

but my best isn't good enough for them (my parents) anymore.

i kinda feel like a "failure" in their eyes now... kinda... i feel like i'm letting them down by not being the A-student i used to be.

it's kinda interesting... i always felt like i was a math/science/engineering person. yet... recently as i've been looking back, those are actually the classes that i've needed to work the hardest to keep up. i guess i really loved it then. i loved how supportive my teachers were. i loved how me and my friends were all in the same boat ("lift as you climb"). i loved knowing that these were things i liked, and worked hard at, and did well in.

but now... i don't feel that. i don't think i've ever felt that way at berkeley. i knew it'd be different. but... this is damn-near a 180. i guess, i still like math and science and engineering... it's just really discouraging to see that 37% on a final is average. to know that only 65% of the class will earn As and Bs and that the class is designed that way. to know that these are "weeding" courses... my best isn't good enough anymore.

i'm sorry... for my parents, for myself

peeve of the day: don't you hate when the tests aren't reflective of the homework or the lecture or the discussion or are just plain nasty????

posted by Rita at 9:19 PM - 0 comments

will somebody please tell me what the average GPA of a graduating undergrad civil engineer is??

i'm stressing....

this is not good....

try to get through the next 2 days. oh, my head is starting to hurt. i seriously need more room in my brain. i think my body is telling me something... "pst, rita... you're no engineer." ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

according to my roommate, there are a lot of people in the college of engineering on academic probation! dang!!!! i had no idea... that's a scary thought. it really is... but i won't let it get there. my parents would pull me out of berkeley before then and crap, i'd lose my scholarship. higher than a 2.0 wow... i've lowered my expectations a lot. i remember coming into berkeley thinking i could pull off the 4.0... damn, seeing only 10 students... TEN! out of thousands in my college graduating with perfect GPAs... damn. i don't even know what to say about that except, kudos for retaining yourselves so well... (did you have a life here?.... just wondering... actually that was kinda mean of me to say... i read an article about one of them... he sounded tight).

so... it's back to the books before my test in 4 hours... oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man...

posted by Rita at 8:18 AM - 0 comments

Friday, May 14, 2004

jury summons for the middle of june. hella random.

posted by Rita at 11:42 AM - 0 comments

it's friday.

happy friday.

it's gonna be a long day...

posted by Rita at 9:49 AM - 0 comments

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

i'm not sure why i do this to myself. i enjoy reminiscing... maybe a lil too much. talked to peter for a lil bit and he commented that i'd been reminiscing about those buffer assignments in high school again >> gosh i miss those.

i tend to live in the past. it's an easy topic of discussion. 20/20 hindsight, yeah? perfect vision. it's done. you were there. you know what you felt. you know how things turned out. you know why. (or maybe you still wonder) whatever the case, sometimes it's just nice to take a lil trip down memory lane.

may 11, 2003: mother's day. tito rene and his family were staying with us in concord. freaking out over varsity tryouts and AP tests. still reeling over lovely limos, gorgeous views, david gray music and massages. glowing and smiling and enjoying the thought of summer with the closest friends i'd ever had.

may 11, 2004: final day of instruction. the house is not full. freaking out over finals! still reeling over random playlists, late night movies, wiping the morning sleep from your eyes, heartbeats in sync. glowing and smiling and enjoying the thought of summer--a summer that will be bittersweet because i won't be with the (newer) closest friends that i've found here at Berkeley. *glow dissipating, smile fading, enjoyment lessening*

posted by Rita at 10:25 PM - 0 comments

so............. it was a good night. a cold night for most of it.... but good nevertheless.

Dirty Dancing: gosh i love that movie. not so much for the plot or storyline or whatever.... but for the dancing and the luuuuuuuuuuurve! haha! and the dancing. wow.

"nobody puts Baby in the corner." damn right!

posted by Rita at 9:50 PM - 0 comments

Monday, May 10, 2004

some thoughts:

+ life is good (except for the impending doom--that is, FINALS!

HELP!)

+ my cousins are SOO cute and SOO much younger that me! can't wait for cousins camp. july 10, i think?

+ my grandma was SOOOOO beautiful. i really wish i had taken the time to look through things and talk to her while she was still here.

+ MY LOLO WANTS HIS BENEFITS! GIVE THEM TO HIM!! i learned a lot about him this week, too... he's ready to fight. get 'em lolo cardo! i'm so proud.

+ PAA CORE!!!!!! hollah..... i'm vice chair! i can't wait to start working on things and yeah... EEEEEEEEEEEE!! so excited for next year's PAA. i'm gonna be lookin to rhea and mark for lots 'o guidance.

+ PASAE CORE!!!!!!! hollah (again)..... i'm co-publicity/webmaster! yey-uh, with paul torio! never disappointed! wow, so many double core-rs next year... the pil-orgs are gonna be so tight! (tight, as in, awesome and tight, as in, close-knit!) i love it!

+ my vocal talents are... well... diminishing.

+ i need a haircut. how short shall i go?? suggestions...

+ 2 weeks to go... *mixed

emotions*

+ oh the love life! *dreamy sigh*

my words couldn't do my feelings justice. 05.04.04 1:00 AM ~~~ LOVE YOU, CHRIS!

posted by Rita at 7:54 AM - 0 comments

Friday, May 07, 2004

um. happy friday!

posted by Rita at 12:37 PM - 0 comments

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

new layout!! eeeeeeeeeeeeee!

posted by Rita at 10:14 PM - 0 comments

1:00 AM *dreamy sigh*

posted by Rita at 9:56 PM - 0 comments

Monday, May 03, 2004

in a surprising turn of events: my mom approves! woo hoo!

posted by Rita at 12:22 PM - 0 comments

again... haven't fully updated. but wow... it's been an emotional weekend. call me if you have the time, would love to hear from you... really. i need my friends more than ever. just lemme know you're out there somewhere doing your thang... and doin it well (or not so well). whatever.. just wanna hear from you.

+ ALL THAT JAZZ: PAA semi-formal was AWESOME!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
some pics: haha.. i knew that hat would come in handy again...

+ 05.01.04 10:58 AM ~ have a new guardian angel. love you always, lola.
+ welcome to the academic week of hell (and it's not even finals yet.. oh dear.)
+ i need to put God higher in my life

...taking it slow

posted by Rita at 2:07 AM - 0 comments

Sunday, May 02, 2004

05.01.04 10:58 AM

we've got a new angel watching over us... i love you, lola.

posted by Rita at 6:01 PM - 0 comments

About Me

Name: Rita Jo Rose Cruz Encarnacion

Home: Concord, CA

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